As the seeker prayed, the beggar and the beaten passed by. When he saw them, he cried, “Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things, yet do nothing about them?” God said, “I did do something. I made you.”
[FONT="Comic Sans MS="2"]When passing a homeless shelter, I immediately look away. If I’m walking, I immediately speed up or change my route. While riding with someone in their car, I’ll comment on the weather as we drive past. The weight of the memories from numerous nights I’ve spent in shelters is simply too much to bear. After passing by, the only thought I have is how I’ll never again worry about having to stay in a shelter.
Until today.
During my freshmen year, I began going to a psychiatrist in order to receive medical help for coping with post-traumatic stress disorder and depression. Thankfully, it was what is known as “situation depression”. In other words, it was brought on by life events. After I began learning more about God’s love and different ways to cope, my depression started going away and I was able to stop anti-depressants. It doesn’t mean life got easier. The same hardships are prevalent in my life, but now I have a different perspective.
I am still seeking treatment for coping with PTSD, which is what brought me into my psychiatrist today. We began talking, and she asked about my current financial situation. The past couple of weeks have been challenging, to say the least. I’m unable to pay my excessively pricey rent, but I have no other living options. Trying to pay rent leaves me unable to afford my cell phone, which is only forty five dollars a month. On top of everything, affording tuition may be undo-able…which means I have to quit.
I realized she was staring at me, expressionless. I stopped speaking and laughed nervously, not quite sure what to do. She closed her laptop, on which she’d been typing notes, and said,
“Olivia, I think you need to realize something. There isn’t the family option, and you haven’t paid this month’s rent. You still have another month until school, which may not happen. You’re going to have to make some hard choices, which could possibly mean living in a shelter. I don’t think you can afford being picky.”
I was speechless. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, but she wasn’t. The only thought that kept repeating itself in my head was “I’m a college student, I’m better than that!”
It wasn’t until later that I asked myself, “better than what?”
What makes anyone better than the men, women, and children who sleep in shelters each and every night? We don’t know their circumstances, and we certainly don’t know about their past. I’m not saying homeless people are without fault…but just because you are homeless, it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person. I’m human, and so are the other millions of homeless people. When a homeless man is beaten, it is generally accepted in because they aren’t “useful to society.” While staying in shelters, some women are raped, but can’t say a word. In my experience, I’ve been told “it doesn’t matter, since you were at a shelter, and not in a private residence”.
Everyone was created by God. We all were given grace by God. Don’t our blessings, monetarily and otherwise, come from God? Just like Mother Theresa said, “Even the poor can give, just not monetarily. Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go.”
I don’t think I’m better than those who stay in shelters..I just don’t desire to ever go back. I’ve been told many times before, “beggars can’t be choosers“, but the only thing I’ve ever pleaded for is stability and love..
,,.Is that too much to ask?[/SIZE][/FONT]
