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Your First Love

Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 6:40 a.m. – I woke to this song in my head:

One Thing I Know / Selah

Something in your eyes I see
Reminds me of what used to be,
When I was still uncertain of the truth.
Sleepless nights I've turned to days,
Alone inside an endless space,
Counted on someone to see me thru.

How can I convince your heart,
His light can find you in the dark,
And only He can make your blind eyes see?
For if we speak of lost things found,
Or lives that have been turned around,
Then tell me who knows better, child, than me?

I would never stake my life on any lesser thing
Than the Cross of Christ, where He gave His life,
To ease my suffering.

And if there's one thing I know
You were never left alone,
'cause you can always call on Jesus' name.
And if there's one thing I pray
Is Jesus helps you find a way
To make a change and listen to your heart.
God will take away your pain,
If you'll choose to let it go,
If there's one thing I know.


Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening. I read Revelation 2:1-7:

To the church in Ephesus
1"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: 2I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. 4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. 6But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

The song, “One Thing I Know” presumes that the author is speaking from personal experience. So, what I write today will also be speaking from personal experience.

The scripture passage from Revelation, chapter 2 is speaking to the church. The message begins on an encouraging note, stating all of the positive qualities of this particular church. Let the Lord apply those quality assessments where he may to individual lives as well as to the Body of Christ as a whole.

What we are going to look at today is the subject of a “first love” – what that means, what it implies when it states that “You have forsaken your first love,” and how this subject of “first love” fits with or applies to the song “One Thing I Know,” and with my personal experiences.

Since the passage of scripture is speaking to the church, we are going to go on the assumption that this song was also written for someone who is a believer in Christ, but who is struggling with doubts concerning his or her faith. And, the doubts appear to be based upon some painful experience that the individual was/is encountering. The painful experience has left the person doubting; feeling empty inside; feeling lost and alone; confused; and not knowing where to turn. This pain has apparently also turned to bitterness (need to let it go), or it is certainly on its way there.

I identify with that scenario from personal experience. There was a time in my Christian life where all of the “slam dunks” – meaning me as the basketball being pushed under; slammed down by the actions and/or words of others – finally culminated in me giving up. So, I forsook my “first love” and I looked for love and meaning to life and acceptance in all the wrong places. I was angry with God – did not realize this until much later. I certainly did not comprehend the complete sovereignty of God over my life – his plan, purpose and absolute control and power over every circumstance and person in my life.

So, instead of turning to the Lord with my pain, as I had been doing previously, I turned away from him, I turned to other “gods”, and I chose to go my own way. It was an act of rebellion against the people and circumstances of my life that had caused me such pain, yet it was also a direct act of sinful rebellion against Almighty God. And, it only caused me more and worse pain and suffering, for now I was suffering because of sin, not because I was following the Lord.

Then, there were times in my Christian life where I wasn’t outwardly rebelling against God, yet God was on the back burner of my heart. The pleasures of this world were in the forefront of my life. Seeking God’s face daily; spending time with him at his feet; seeing what he wanted for my life, and then walking in complete surrender to and obedience to him were not the first priority or maybe even the second priority of my life. This time in my Christian life fits best with this passage of scripture in Revelation 2:1-7, whereas the other time in my Christian life (described above) better fits with the words to this song. Yet, in both cases, I forsook my “first love” for something or someone else.

So, what does “first love” mean? When I think of “first love,” I think of the first time I fell in love with someone who was also madly in love with me. He was my first thought when I rose in the morning, my last thought before I went to sleep at night and he was in my dreams as I slept. I wanted to share every waking moment with him, if I could have. I would stay up until late at night talking with him on the telephone and I didn’t want to say “good-night.” When he dropped me off after a date, I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to hold on to him forever. Whenever anything happy or sad or even ordinary happened in my life, he was the first one I wanted to tell. This is the man I married nearly 37 years ago (this August 5th).

This is what it means to have a “first love,” and this is the kind of relationship that Jesus Christ wants to have with his bride, as well. So, when the scripture states that “You have forsaken your first love,” and that “You need to repent and do the things you did at first,” this is what it is talking about. It is saying that, even though you may have good deeds, you may work hard for the Lord, you may have great endurance and perseverance and you may even hate a lot of the things that the Lord hates, he doesn’t have your heart.

Your heart is divided, at best, or it is given over to other things and people instead of to the Lord. Perhaps acceptance of man is more important than God’s acceptance and so you choose to please man over pleasing God. Maybe you are just busy with other things and don’t take the time for the Lord. He is just not your first priority. Or, you know that obedience to God is going to require too much of you, so you choose to do “good works” that you choose instead of seeking his face to see what he desires of you personally. Or, you could be like I was and you are angry with God and so you are turning to other “gods” as an act of rebellion. Whatever the reason or the circumstances behind you “forsaking your first love,” if this applies to your life, the Lord is calling you to repent (to turn from that and to turn to him).

How can I convince your heart,
His light can find you in the dark,
And only He can make your blind eyes see?
For if we speak of lost things found,
Or lives that have been turned around,
Then tell me who knows better, child, than me?

I would never stake my life on any lesser thing
Than the Cross of Christ, where He gave His life,
To ease my suffering.

And if there's one thing I know
You were never left alone,
'cause you can always call on Jesus' name.
And if there's one thing I pray
Is Jesus helps you find a way
To make a change and listen to your heart.
God will take away your pain,
If you'll choose to let it go,
If there's one thing I know.


And, I do know this from personal experience, as well. God did take away my pain when I chose to let it go; when I chose to accept his plan and purpose for my life; when I chose to accept his sovereignty over all the circumstances and people in my life; and when I chose to surrender my will to his will for my life and turned from going my own way and from living to please myself. Then, the peace and joy of the Lord overflowed into my heart as I learned to rest in him instead of to take the circumstances of my life into my own hands. Then, my life had purpose and meaning. And, then I fell in love with my Lord all over again and he is truly my “first love.” My husband is still my “first love” in human terms, but the Lord is my “first love” in spiritual terms. God is now my first priority and everything else flows after.

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