Where do I start?

Father, I just want to be happy. I don't want to go through this depression and sadness again. Was it wrong of Adam and I to talk again? I feel like some things were said that made it worth it, even though this is the way I feel afterwords. It would seem that you are trying to make it obvious to me that our time together is over and long gone. But Lord, you made me the way I am. You gave me a heart to love and care and hurt for others. Please help me to find the balance between that kind of care and moving on. Please convince me that moving on IS what I'm supposed to do. Because I still have this feeling that maybe I am supposed to wait. All signs are pointing in the other direction but I can't shake this other feeling because of the bond that we had. Help me to rid of those demons that are holding me back and making me think that we are "supposed to be together" when you are trying to show me that we are not. And if you are indeed NOT trying to show me that and you DO want me to wait around, then please send me a sign. I want to walk in your path and do your will. Help me to move on and be strong during this season of grief and loss. I need to show other people the strength that I have through you and I feel under-equipped to do that right now. Please Lord, equip me with the armor that is necessary for me to walk humbly and righteously.