Waiting vs. Doing
22 May 2013
" I can't wait until....". If I had a nickel for every time these words issued from my mouth I would be a very rich and independent woman...teehee. For a while mow the Scripture of Isaiah 40:31 has se up camp on the edge of my conscience and has been raiding my very planned out life. In a world where we are continually barraged by the world's concept of preparing for every future situation and laying aside wealth to save them from future discomfort Jesus' admonition to take no thought for tomorrow stands in stark contrast to the world nd our human thought processes. We are offered two completely different lifestyles and attitudes and can only choose one. The dilemma is that when we try to merge and mesh them together we end up both double minded and unstable in our ways. Personally I believe in the tithe and sowing and reaping have been as faithful as possible since the early 70s and now at a time in my life I find that His provision is very sufficient for me as a retired woman unable to work. I never considered how long I would have to wait to see the fruits of my faithfulness in this unforeseen situation but I did know my Father was faithful to His Word. Well Sunday a sister shared a message with guidelines for a better life NOW. Two of her points hit their mark in my heart and they were 1. Realize we are not always right and 2.We don't need to always be in control. Ouch!!! Isaiah wrote " Yet those who wait upon the Lord will gain strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles". Always believed that meant finding a prayer closet and camping out til He laid your desires at your feet but I am finding that the word "waiting" isn't a passive verb but an active one. Yesterday morning as I was having coffee on the back deck, still in my nightgown, I decided to weed out a special bed and plant seeds for summer flowers. Guess who shows up with a lesson...teehee. The bed was prepared and all visible weeds and their roots removed and I proceeded to plant the seeds. Daddy impressed me that when the tender shoots came up they would be indistinguishable from the weeds for a season. I had to wait and watch until I was sure which was which. I need to be attentive to these young shoots even though I can't tell them apart until they have grown considerably. My life is like that as well, there are times I have rushed ahead of His timing in a matter and have beaten helplessly and with great frustration at a door He would gladly open in the right season. Even within my transitioning I can look back and see His perfect timing through out the last 5 years. If I had forced ahead any sooner the end results would have been quite disastrous, there were doors to be opened and hearts prepared in His timing. It says in the Word " In the fullness of time..." . The Father could have sent Jesus into world history at any point including the Garden of Eden and yet He chose where, when, and how our Redeemer would manifest in our fallen world. We can never see the tapestry He is creating in our lives but we can wait on His design . The military always said "hurry up and wait" which meant we had to just wait on our superior officers to determine our schedules. I believe Daddy is trying desperately to orchestrate the very best life He has for each of us if we will just let go of the illusion of being in control. The Word says "Be still and know I am the Lord" for the record it takes a lot of work and personal discipline to "be still". Been trying to perfect it for over 40 years and still don't always get it right. We have a Father holding out His arms to draw us into the best He has to offer-Himself, why do we fight such an offer, is it because we need to be right and in control or is it just human nature to rebel against any authority in our lives? I wonder how many time we spend going around the mountain while He fixes the fixes we tried to do on our own. I would love to sit with Sarah and Abraham and discuss their plans to initiate God's Word and ended up with Ishmael .They had a problem waiting too and Daddy is probably still fixing that one.
24 May 2013
Well back to my garden for another lesson yesterday morning. I was planning on cutting grass but it was still wet from the morning dew so I decided instead to "deadhead" the lilac bushes of their spent flowers. These bushes are sizable in girth and height and you almost have to be encased within them to do it. Some plants you can just cut to the ground but others, like lilacs, need to have each bloom individually removed to ensure next springs blooms. As I ws going through each limb searching out the blooms I was impressed with the knowledge that no matter how well I did my job and removed anything that look bad I really wouldn't know for about 11 months. Basically I as pruning by faith and I started seeing the paralells in my personal life as well. It takes time, devotion and patience to plant new habits and patterns just as it does to remove unwanted ones.Sometimes we haven't got a clue how a choice we make will play out in our lives til much further down the road. Thr las several days I have been stressed in my spirit without a clue as to why until Myralee and I started talking it out. This is brutal hnesty and it isn't pretty nor am I proud of it except that I found the reason. I am an exctremely driven Christian woman, always have been and when I came out the church community slammed the door in my face of sorts. I thought it would happen but I was not prepared for how deeply it hurt me. What I have had to come to terms with was "WHY" it hurt like that and I finally see, by Daddy's Grace, was that I had been in a place spiritually where I was received as a Man of God and was honored as such. I ministered in the Gifts of the Holy Spirit under the covering and encouragement of the church leadership translation- I had built a good reputation and a name for myself within that community. Please notice how much of that glory went to me, just another vessel, and how much went to Daddy. I wasn't blatant and knew all the right "lip service" to go with my religious humility (sarcsm intended) but deep inside I had a very bad case of religious pride. Well now after being truly humble and full of true repentance before God I am once again being led back into serving His children but it took four yearsof waiting, questioning and frustration before Daddy opened the door once again. Had I stepped from the straght churches right into LGBT churches without that painful season I would have continued in my self serving ways without even realizing it and would have tarnished any work He might have used me for. The Word says He chastens those He loves and my little 4 year hiatus on the shelf of life was a living example of that principle. God is doing a mighty work in His Body and if we desire to be an active part it is time to start "waiting" God's way so we are ready . I was always taught about the Majesty, Power and Might of God but what I have come to learn is that He prefers speaking in a still small voice and His Grandoise and Glory will only shine through as we are simply vessels waiting to be used at His Pleasure and the Glory is to be His alone. The most precious title or label we can aspire to is to be called "Daughters and Sons of God". Ber Blessed.
