i'm listening to a CD called 'freedom, a journey from brokenness to wholeness'. and i got the CD about three weeks ago, which is when I finally decided to do something about my past, the abuse and issues that flow from that abuse. every time i look back on my life, i still see a lot of holes, where i am supposed to be. by that i mean, gaps in my memory and part of my childhood just as if i didnt exist.
i love to write. sometimes i think its not good for me because then, i become too introspective and hide within and then when i need to talk, its as if i've forgotten how to. i look at myself and its so difficult for me to share, i either do it from the surface or dont do it at all, which means the stuff builds up inside until... well, just until.
I wrote this poem that describes just what was going on under the surfae:
'Clouds rolling in'
The clouds are coming quickly
and they bring news with them
They roll in under the dome
and quiety seal me in from
all that twists and turns and
frightens us from the outside
Sealed in we don't want outsiders in
And then taken care of we want to do
The dome of the rock is slippery for those
who want to take a peek in and see all
ouf us huddling in the corner, don't know
who is who and everyone has their shoulders down
and hats over their heads
They are angry and wanting to leave
and go down where no one can reach them
anymore and silence will be golden
they won't communicate with anyone
and i am left outside to warn
to stay away and to show that they have
left their place and gone to another
Don't ask and don't tell
where they reside
Their mouths hide their tongue
they cannot
utter words
Their voice is silent.
I thought that for me it is so much better to write than to try to explain things so I really like doing it in poems that describe better than I can talk or explain.
Today I feel like I am finding my voice and possibly I will be used by God to make a difference for the kingdom, in some one else's life.
blesses
i love to write. sometimes i think its not good for me because then, i become too introspective and hide within and then when i need to talk, its as if i've forgotten how to. i look at myself and its so difficult for me to share, i either do it from the surface or dont do it at all, which means the stuff builds up inside until... well, just until.
I wrote this poem that describes just what was going on under the surfae:
'Clouds rolling in'
The clouds are coming quickly
and they bring news with them
They roll in under the dome
and quiety seal me in from
all that twists and turns and
frightens us from the outside
Sealed in we don't want outsiders in
And then taken care of we want to do
The dome of the rock is slippery for those
who want to take a peek in and see all
ouf us huddling in the corner, don't know
who is who and everyone has their shoulders down
and hats over their heads
They are angry and wanting to leave
and go down where no one can reach them
anymore and silence will be golden
they won't communicate with anyone
and i am left outside to warn
to stay away and to show that they have
left their place and gone to another
Don't ask and don't tell
where they reside
Their mouths hide their tongue
they cannot
utter words
Their voice is silent.
I thought that for me it is so much better to write than to try to explain things so I really like doing it in poems that describe better than I can talk or explain.
Today I feel like I am finding my voice and possibly I will be used by God to make a difference for the kingdom, in some one else's life.
blesses
