trusting in jesus

for a long time ive been struggling to trusting in Jesus. my first thing is well how do i even start? how do i know what jesus wants from me? where do i seek him? i guess i was expecting too much to happen. instead of letting the spirit cone inside i was trying to force it. i would get discouraged if i didnt feel how my friends felt. but jesus has our own path designed for us. he even tells us not to base our paths based on others. one thing ive been really struggling with is forgiving others. i held grudges. jesus said in the bible that we shouldnt worry about the past or worry about the future. that each day is to mold us and we should just focus on the path he gives us today.He already knows what we are going to do before we even do it. so now instead of dwelling on what went wrong, which is a sin, im just going to focus on what todays blessings are. things have been kinda slow in amanda world. tonight i sat outside and heard crickets chirp and listened to nature. it was so peaceful just sitting there focusing on Gods love and just praying then reading from the bible. i like feeling so peaceful. its being alone in times like this where i can truly feel god. i dont need to be in a constant fellowship. i can just feel Gods presense by just sitting alone and deep breathing just focusing on Jesus is the king, Jesus is lord! then i get excited im going to learn something new soon! i dont believe in bad things anymore or having a bad day. im now excited because though it may seem not good, but after when the storm passes and the sun shines again..you just feel stronger. and you can only feel that strengh because you trust in Jesus to guide you through. we cannot do anything without Jesus. when we stop depending on jesus, thats when the spiritual darkness comes in, because jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. its us as humans who change. we need to keep praying, keep reading, keep worshiping, keep seeking and keep trusting in jesus so our spiritual light never runs out! peace be with you all my christian brothers and sisters