today

Hi God

I'm sorry again.
I despair of ever getting over it.

P was probably right not to reply but it hurt all the same. Because it hurt I think it was wrong as well not to reply.

I wish they would God.
But I dont want them to either.

I have so many little things to do with people, so much study as well.

Please help me God, I know I dont deserve it.
I have been getting bitter and holding grudges God. i dont think that is good.

I think the subliminals arent good either
I think they might have made me short tempered and unhappy yesterday

i didnt listen to the subliminals this morning and it was a good day, but it was also good because i talked to some people about some things last night and they cared about me so i felt loved i guess.

i am having some time off church. i am sad but i have to in a way
God please help me, i dont deserve to ask that even, but please help with everything.
i think i am getting too tired of everything i think i am getting hurt and disillusioned and getting resentful because of all of that.

it hurts God it really does