today

I wanted to post a picture but can't seem to unfortunately. It's about where I feel I am with God at the moment.

God is faithful and I know He always will be.
But me and God is different that it used to be.

And in order to walk with more integrity I've changed the picture on my username to the picture of a child holding onto God's finger.

That is how I feel it is with me and God. He's there to hold onto but it's up to me too to reach out and keep holding on to what He has shown me about who He is.

There's a bit more distance between us but in others there isn't.

I have to face some giants this weekend and I cried and wrestled a lot last night with God about it how I can't face it and how does He expect me to but I know I only can with Him and you know .. It did feel like part of me gave it over to Him and thats where I'm at too: trying to let Him into those parts of my life.

sigh. but I was incredibly rude to someone at church on Sunday and have to apologise.. God please grant me wisdom and the words to say is all I can pray at the moment.

no excuse is big enough to cover that one..

I am sorry for that

anyway enough.. i'll try and attach the other picture