To change the guard...

I feel angry and mad; livid.. Im attempting to trust God that he will bring the right people to me that I may process my stuff. I feel writing blogs is not enough for a decent life. One needs friends. Im waiting upon God.

I have this one friend. He is of very low quality. I appreciate him and his help. However, his conscious level is non existent.
He calls me a lier about my business. Ive had just about all of him I can take.

Im praying for God to bring me others of better quality.. Im slow learning in these areas.

I still need help. Im without the support that I need.
I need to keep trusting God...

I need people. The right people. Decent people.. I have no idea how to interact with people. Im very sensitive... Im not interested in people that are not interested in me.

I have made great hypocritical mistakes with people. I have caused great harm.. and I am learning to be sorry for what I have done.. I was not justified.. I found myself alone and in the light of God with no tree to hide behind.. In great confusion I began the descend into loneliness.

suicide is always a problem for me! I am around many unacceptable people.