I dont know why, but this week, I have been missing people. People that i have fallen away from and shouldnt have. People who have helped pull me up and i have neglected them, been a bad friend and now I want them back and I am scared to make the moves to do so.
I also have been down lately, it all started when my ex found me on myspace... very trippy, and it kind of scared me a bit, since we did not have a great relationship end.
My nightmares returned, my mood has saddened, my insecurities returned... and I have been searching for a friend. Someone to confide in.
I have finally gotten my cf back! and that made me happy, but opened up my insecurities again. I dont understand why i feel the way I do, but i start to get real down about myself.
i am not pretty enough, thin enough, funny enough... i dont get it. I try so hard to be perfect, when perfection is miles away from anything i will ever become.
i guess these are just late night ramblings.
I love God, and I have seen so much in him and his glory in the last week. The beautiful weather, the things my son does, the happy elderly couple walking hand in hand down the street. God is truely amazing. and I couldnt thank him enough for all he has blessed me with.
But I cant help but wonder, why am i so sad? Why am i so hard on myself? What have i done to deserve to not be pretty or cute, or funny or thin or have the great personality that people want to be around?
i dont get it.
I am done for the night.
thanks for reading my ramblings.
~Nic
I also have been down lately, it all started when my ex found me on myspace... very trippy, and it kind of scared me a bit, since we did not have a great relationship end.
My nightmares returned, my mood has saddened, my insecurities returned... and I have been searching for a friend. Someone to confide in.
I have finally gotten my cf back! and that made me happy, but opened up my insecurities again. I dont understand why i feel the way I do, but i start to get real down about myself.
i am not pretty enough, thin enough, funny enough... i dont get it. I try so hard to be perfect, when perfection is miles away from anything i will ever become.
i guess these are just late night ramblings.I love God, and I have seen so much in him and his glory in the last week. The beautiful weather, the things my son does, the happy elderly couple walking hand in hand down the street. God is truely amazing. and I couldnt thank him enough for all he has blessed me with.
But I cant help but wonder, why am i so sad? Why am i so hard on myself? What have i done to deserve to not be pretty or cute, or funny or thin or have the great personality that people want to be around?
i dont get it.
I am done for the night.
thanks for reading my ramblings.
~Nic
