So, I'm a Christian now. Not one of those "I'm going to say I'm a Christian but not actually change anything about my life" Christians. No, I'm a real one now, after a few years as a total poser. So, you're asking, how'd that happen? Since this post is all about that, I'm quite glad you asked.
Let me back up a bit. Understand that I was never a Church goer as a child. My parents almost never took us. We would sometimes go, but it was literally about once or twice a year. It wasn't until I started dating my wife and sometimes attended her Church that I can say I went at all regularly. Towards the end of our time at that Church, before we moved to our current one, I was falling away again. I just wasn't getting a message out of it. After about seven years, I still couldn't tell you the importance of Christ dying on the cross. No kidding, I didn't understand how it had forgiven my sins. Seems strange now, but that was the case. Anyway, after about three or four weeks at our current Church, I understood. But, I still wasn't a true Christian.
It was in November of 2010. My wife and I were working on our marriage and it was improving. She was counseling with our pastor and making great strides personally. One day, she made an offhand remark that I had been a theater major in college before changing to Marketing. This lead our Pastor to ask me to assist with the Youth Group in doing some skits for Sunday mornings. I agreed. The Sunday night before I was to first meet with them (on Wednesday), I was searching for a live version of Lifehouse's song, Everything to post to Facebook when I came across a skit set to the song. It depicted a person's separation from Christ, becoming lost to various sins, striving to get back to Christ, and Christ ultimately stepping in and taking the sins upon himself. I teared up. It was extremely powerful, and I knew that was what I wanted to talk to them about.
I showed up Wednesday as nervous as heck. High-schoolers still intimidate me. I told them about my background and what I was there for. They were extremely friendly and accommodating of me. Finally, I queued up the skit and showed it to them. Some of them had seen it before, some hadn't, all loved it. We started practicing the next week to be ready the week before Christmas. Before it was done, I insisted that I say a prayer with our Pastor to accept Christ and did so, which included my choice to be baptized. In hindsight, it didn't take. The skit went perfectly, and I continued meeting with them and doing more skits. In May of 2011, I took a break for a month. June would finally see me change.
In addition to coming back to meet with the Youth in June, I also started discipleship training with our Pastor. We met on Tuesday evenings after work for a couple of hours. It was basically intense Bible Study. The first book we covered was the Book of Malachi and it struck me like nothing else. For the first time in my life, I saw God as an actual being rather than an idea. His anger at the lack or shoddiness of worship among His people really spoke to me. I saw it as a battered spouse that finally rises up against the abuser. I wanted to cheer, even though what happened is actually profoundly sad. Ultimately, I realized that I wanted to cheer b/c it had clicked for me. I was seeing an angry God, but I was also seeing a God so full of love that, even in His anger, He was still going to send Christ for the purpose of taking upon our sins. To die on a cross for us so that He (Christ) could intercede on our behalf. God can't look at sin, Christ can. Christ sees us, and His love knows no bounds. I finally understood it...and it was remarkable to me. That month, I became a true Christian.
Back in November when I had said a prayer, my Pastor had said that I would find that some things that had interested me would fade away and I would find myself changing. She was right, but it didn't start happening until June. I realized one day that I hadn't watched Tosh.0 in weeks, even though I used to love it. I hadn't even missed it. The same happened with some of the music I had once listened to all the time. I'm sure other things happened as well that I have yet to notice.
Since then, I've been more able to see God working in my life. I've found like minded friends via a Forum for Christians on the internet. Yeah, that's right. I who used to deride internet friendships and such have closer friends online that I have here and in person. I can also see how the struggles and hardships I've had in the past worked for my own betterment. Even in the most dire of circumstances, I can now take solace in the fact that I know that I'm never going to face it alone.
Let me back up a bit. Understand that I was never a Church goer as a child. My parents almost never took us. We would sometimes go, but it was literally about once or twice a year. It wasn't until I started dating my wife and sometimes attended her Church that I can say I went at all regularly. Towards the end of our time at that Church, before we moved to our current one, I was falling away again. I just wasn't getting a message out of it. After about seven years, I still couldn't tell you the importance of Christ dying on the cross. No kidding, I didn't understand how it had forgiven my sins. Seems strange now, but that was the case. Anyway, after about three or four weeks at our current Church, I understood. But, I still wasn't a true Christian.
It was in November of 2010. My wife and I were working on our marriage and it was improving. She was counseling with our pastor and making great strides personally. One day, she made an offhand remark that I had been a theater major in college before changing to Marketing. This lead our Pastor to ask me to assist with the Youth Group in doing some skits for Sunday mornings. I agreed. The Sunday night before I was to first meet with them (on Wednesday), I was searching for a live version of Lifehouse's song, Everything to post to Facebook when I came across a skit set to the song. It depicted a person's separation from Christ, becoming lost to various sins, striving to get back to Christ, and Christ ultimately stepping in and taking the sins upon himself. I teared up. It was extremely powerful, and I knew that was what I wanted to talk to them about.
I showed up Wednesday as nervous as heck. High-schoolers still intimidate me. I told them about my background and what I was there for. They were extremely friendly and accommodating of me. Finally, I queued up the skit and showed it to them. Some of them had seen it before, some hadn't, all loved it. We started practicing the next week to be ready the week before Christmas. Before it was done, I insisted that I say a prayer with our Pastor to accept Christ and did so, which included my choice to be baptized. In hindsight, it didn't take. The skit went perfectly, and I continued meeting with them and doing more skits. In May of 2011, I took a break for a month. June would finally see me change.
In addition to coming back to meet with the Youth in June, I also started discipleship training with our Pastor. We met on Tuesday evenings after work for a couple of hours. It was basically intense Bible Study. The first book we covered was the Book of Malachi and it struck me like nothing else. For the first time in my life, I saw God as an actual being rather than an idea. His anger at the lack or shoddiness of worship among His people really spoke to me. I saw it as a battered spouse that finally rises up against the abuser. I wanted to cheer, even though what happened is actually profoundly sad. Ultimately, I realized that I wanted to cheer b/c it had clicked for me. I was seeing an angry God, but I was also seeing a God so full of love that, even in His anger, He was still going to send Christ for the purpose of taking upon our sins. To die on a cross for us so that He (Christ) could intercede on our behalf. God can't look at sin, Christ can. Christ sees us, and His love knows no bounds. I finally understood it...and it was remarkable to me. That month, I became a true Christian.
Back in November when I had said a prayer, my Pastor had said that I would find that some things that had interested me would fade away and I would find myself changing. She was right, but it didn't start happening until June. I realized one day that I hadn't watched Tosh.0 in weeks, even though I used to love it. I hadn't even missed it. The same happened with some of the music I had once listened to all the time. I'm sure other things happened as well that I have yet to notice.
Since then, I've been more able to see God working in my life. I've found like minded friends via a Forum for Christians on the internet. Yeah, that's right. I who used to deride internet friendships and such have closer friends online that I have here and in person. I can also see how the struggles and hardships I've had in the past worked for my own betterment. Even in the most dire of circumstances, I can now take solace in the fact that I know that I'm never going to face it alone.
