The Truth will set you free
By Rafi Perez
Most of us think we are living a life of pure honesty or at least close to it, some don’t assume as much. The scary part is actually looking within
and investing a little time into identifying what is really true for you. You tend to stay away from this inner journey because it can reveal some
things about yourself and others that just does not fit in your eggshell reality. We all know the truth about how we feel about something but we
choose to ignore it and tell ourselves something else that fits. I know some of you are reading this and thinking “But I just can’t.”
The fact is we can tell the truth about everything but we pretend that we can’t. If we told everyone the truth about everything instead of telling
ourselves that we can’t then we would have no excuse. We have constructed in our minds that we can’t tell the truth about the things in our
lives. But it is a mental construction based on fear. Some people will openly admit that fear is the reason behind holding back the truth, but it all
comes to pretending that they can’t. We pretend that we can’t tell people the truth and so the truth creates a seemingly thicker eggshell and
holds us within those limitations.
There are several reasons why people do this, but ultimately it’s about holding all the cards, if I hold all the cards then I will always win. It is a
way of staying safe and in control. For the most part this is not something we do purposely, but when you start to look at your truths you will
see your motives and actions clearer. You will notice that even the most miserable situation can be a comfort zone in which you hold all the
cards. You will keep yourself in that condition in order to feel a sense of false security.
Inside your eggshell these limitations will keep you from experiencing the greater truth, you will deny this truth by living in a reality dominated
by comfortable lies. These lies are based in you fear, and when you start to confront the lies you will confront your fear. This is something most
of us are not willing to face and so we live in a world of our own creation that is dominated by fear and limitations. It will become you truth on
the surface but your inner being, your true self will never know it self and you will never know who you are or what is true for you.
Since we can only find our truth by turning inward and that is too scary to face we will turn externally to find our truth. We start to base our
reality on what others perceive as true. The problem with this is that reality is most of the time based on secrecy and so your reality will form
around someone else’s half truth. This leads to much confusion and worthlessness because you feel like “I just don’t get it.” And so you bring
on a world of confusion where everyone else seems to “get it”
But it is not a matter of getting “it” anywhere other than within yourself. Your truths are your truths and no one can change them, but you can
and as you evolve what was true for you yesterday may not be true for you tomorrow, this is a result of growth and finding out who you really
are. It is important to remember that change is ok, and something is merely true for you until it is not. This is evolution, imagine if it was still
true that the earth was flat, we would never evolve into finding the greater truth that is out there.
In looking externally for our truth you must keep in mind that our world is governed by secrecy, it has become the social standard and ethics to
keep people in the dark for their own good. You will find that Governments, business, religion and people will lie or keep secrets based on the
mentality of “What you don’t know won’t hurt you” or “you can’t handle the whole truth” or more importantly “What you don’t know won’t
hurt me.”
These truths have seeped into our lives on a very deep level. Cultural ethics in secrecy is the way we have it set up. We bring this into our
relationships with everyone with the thought of “We would really like to tell you the truth but you can’t handle it, or I just may not like your
response.” This secrecy bleeds into you deeper intimate relationships and is the reason there are so many doomed marriages. We need to hold all
the cards in order to be safe and secure. We find ourselves keeping things from the other person and we justify it by imagining that it is done in
order to protect them. We decide what they can handle and what they can’t, based on our fears.
Telling the truth will set you free from your eggshell limitations and will begin a growth process that will allow you to know who you really are.
You will transform your life from the state you are in. In doing so you will be surprised at how you will impact those around you. There are
five levels that are necessary in order to shatter the lies that have created part of you eggshell, once you get rid of the lies you will be able to
focus on what is true for you. This will change your life and the lives of those around you.
The first level is telling the truth about you to yourself. This is the kind of truth you confront in the middle of the night when no one else is
around. These are the deep secrets we keep from the world, no one else can hear them. You may be thinking that this is something you already
do, but in my own experience I have found that our truths get skewed in our actions. I know that for a long time I had lied to myself about a
great many things these were things that I told myself in order to make sense of things. There were truths about me that I faced away from,
things that I had repeated to myself, things that I heard from people about me that I knew were true but just didn’t want to hear.
The world will contrive to tell you the truth about you, it doesn’t mean you take the opinions of others and make them your truth but you must
be willing to look at it from within and see if you have made this true for you. When you have something you feel is bad about you it is
stemmed in some type of fear and until you are willing to face this truth you will not be able to face the fear and turn it around. You should take
into account a consistent message and look deeper; this is usually something that is really hard to hear. It is important to remember that the
opinions of others are not primary and should not be your focus, these are your truths and not based on what people will think. Just admit it to
yourself.
One of the hardest truth you will face are the positive truths about you. It is important during this level to not only admit what you call the bad,
but especially what you call good. It was hard for me to tell myself the truth about me in this area and it was a huge step. This is after all the
grandest truth and applies to everyone “you are a wonderful, you are a good person, You are perfect just the way you are, You are limitless”
Very very difficult but true.
The second level to truth is telling the truth about someone else to yourself. This is something everyone believes they do, after all your thinking
it and not saying it. In my own experience I have found myself lying to myself regarding how I felt about another person. I was not in love but I
told myself I was, I reminded myself every day that I had to love this person. I needed it to be true in order for my life to work the way I
thought I wanted it to work.
I caught myself in a lie when I saw that my actions were not consistent with what I was telling myself. My actions were not in-line with my
reality and it showed me I wasn’t feeling a certain way, at that point I had a reality check. I realized I was lying to myself to keep myself in that
state because I was afraid of being alone and afraid of not being in a comfort zone. Once I was able to face this truth I was able to face the fear
that came with it. Then I started telling myself the truth about everyone else in my life. Today I have a daily practice in which I will run through
my list and tell myself the truth privately and ask myself, what’s true for me.
The third level of truth is telling the truth about myself to another. This is difficult to do because your eggshell will throw every fear possible
towards you in order to keep you within its limits. But these fears will only keep you in the same state of confusion. Let go of the fear and just
focus on the honesty. Tell someone “here’s my truth about this and that” and leave it at that. One of the hardest truths in the history of the
human race is “I don’t want to” or “I don’t choose that.” Or “Thanks but no.” these are all very difficult because we have all been raised to be
people pleasers and telling someone everything about my truth may make them leave. This is a huge step, you will no longer hide behind
excuses because you have nothing to hide. You will also find that there is much more security and confidence in being who you truly are.
The fourth level of truth is telling my truth about others to others. This is where it gets really scary this will feel like a big time risk. You told
your truth about you and now you tell them your truth about them. You start to worry about whether or not they can handle it. The big fear
comes from them being able to handle it; it can be extremely scary when they just don’t care about something you feel. You may find yourself
thinking “what, this doesn’t bother you.”
The fifth level of truth is tell the truth to everyone about everything, to just always speak the truth to everyone about everything. It doesn’t
mean going up to someone on the street and asking “What’s wrong with your hair??” It means you are just willing to open up and be yourself. It
means that when you sit down and they expect nothing but truth from you, you will give them the truth. You will give them the whole truth and
that means the whole truth, not part truth.
It is important to know that a truth withheld is a lie told. That is our attempt to stay safe, to hold all the cards and protect our safety. Just
speak your whole truth, it will set you free and transform your life.
By Rafi Perez
Most of us think we are living a life of pure honesty or at least close to it, some don’t assume as much. The scary part is actually looking within
and investing a little time into identifying what is really true for you. You tend to stay away from this inner journey because it can reveal some
things about yourself and others that just does not fit in your eggshell reality. We all know the truth about how we feel about something but we
choose to ignore it and tell ourselves something else that fits. I know some of you are reading this and thinking “But I just can’t.”
The fact is we can tell the truth about everything but we pretend that we can’t. If we told everyone the truth about everything instead of telling
ourselves that we can’t then we would have no excuse. We have constructed in our minds that we can’t tell the truth about the things in our
lives. But it is a mental construction based on fear. Some people will openly admit that fear is the reason behind holding back the truth, but it all
comes to pretending that they can’t. We pretend that we can’t tell people the truth and so the truth creates a seemingly thicker eggshell and
holds us within those limitations.
There are several reasons why people do this, but ultimately it’s about holding all the cards, if I hold all the cards then I will always win. It is a
way of staying safe and in control. For the most part this is not something we do purposely, but when you start to look at your truths you will
see your motives and actions clearer. You will notice that even the most miserable situation can be a comfort zone in which you hold all the
cards. You will keep yourself in that condition in order to feel a sense of false security.
Inside your eggshell these limitations will keep you from experiencing the greater truth, you will deny this truth by living in a reality dominated
by comfortable lies. These lies are based in you fear, and when you start to confront the lies you will confront your fear. This is something most
of us are not willing to face and so we live in a world of our own creation that is dominated by fear and limitations. It will become you truth on
the surface but your inner being, your true self will never know it self and you will never know who you are or what is true for you.
Since we can only find our truth by turning inward and that is too scary to face we will turn externally to find our truth. We start to base our
reality on what others perceive as true. The problem with this is that reality is most of the time based on secrecy and so your reality will form
around someone else’s half truth. This leads to much confusion and worthlessness because you feel like “I just don’t get it.” And so you bring
on a world of confusion where everyone else seems to “get it”
But it is not a matter of getting “it” anywhere other than within yourself. Your truths are your truths and no one can change them, but you can
and as you evolve what was true for you yesterday may not be true for you tomorrow, this is a result of growth and finding out who you really
are. It is important to remember that change is ok, and something is merely true for you until it is not. This is evolution, imagine if it was still
true that the earth was flat, we would never evolve into finding the greater truth that is out there.
In looking externally for our truth you must keep in mind that our world is governed by secrecy, it has become the social standard and ethics to
keep people in the dark for their own good. You will find that Governments, business, religion and people will lie or keep secrets based on the
mentality of “What you don’t know won’t hurt you” or “you can’t handle the whole truth” or more importantly “What you don’t know won’t
hurt me.”
These truths have seeped into our lives on a very deep level. Cultural ethics in secrecy is the way we have it set up. We bring this into our
relationships with everyone with the thought of “We would really like to tell you the truth but you can’t handle it, or I just may not like your
response.” This secrecy bleeds into you deeper intimate relationships and is the reason there are so many doomed marriages. We need to hold all
the cards in order to be safe and secure. We find ourselves keeping things from the other person and we justify it by imagining that it is done in
order to protect them. We decide what they can handle and what they can’t, based on our fears.
Telling the truth will set you free from your eggshell limitations and will begin a growth process that will allow you to know who you really are.
You will transform your life from the state you are in. In doing so you will be surprised at how you will impact those around you. There are
five levels that are necessary in order to shatter the lies that have created part of you eggshell, once you get rid of the lies you will be able to
focus on what is true for you. This will change your life and the lives of those around you.
The first level is telling the truth about you to yourself. This is the kind of truth you confront in the middle of the night when no one else is
around. These are the deep secrets we keep from the world, no one else can hear them. You may be thinking that this is something you already
do, but in my own experience I have found that our truths get skewed in our actions. I know that for a long time I had lied to myself about a
great many things these were things that I told myself in order to make sense of things. There were truths about me that I faced away from,
things that I had repeated to myself, things that I heard from people about me that I knew were true but just didn’t want to hear.
The world will contrive to tell you the truth about you, it doesn’t mean you take the opinions of others and make them your truth but you must
be willing to look at it from within and see if you have made this true for you. When you have something you feel is bad about you it is
stemmed in some type of fear and until you are willing to face this truth you will not be able to face the fear and turn it around. You should take
into account a consistent message and look deeper; this is usually something that is really hard to hear. It is important to remember that the
opinions of others are not primary and should not be your focus, these are your truths and not based on what people will think. Just admit it to
yourself.
One of the hardest truth you will face are the positive truths about you. It is important during this level to not only admit what you call the bad,
but especially what you call good. It was hard for me to tell myself the truth about me in this area and it was a huge step. This is after all the
grandest truth and applies to everyone “you are a wonderful, you are a good person, You are perfect just the way you are, You are limitless”
Very very difficult but true.
The second level to truth is telling the truth about someone else to yourself. This is something everyone believes they do, after all your thinking
it and not saying it. In my own experience I have found myself lying to myself regarding how I felt about another person. I was not in love but I
told myself I was, I reminded myself every day that I had to love this person. I needed it to be true in order for my life to work the way I
thought I wanted it to work.
I caught myself in a lie when I saw that my actions were not consistent with what I was telling myself. My actions were not in-line with my
reality and it showed me I wasn’t feeling a certain way, at that point I had a reality check. I realized I was lying to myself to keep myself in that
state because I was afraid of being alone and afraid of not being in a comfort zone. Once I was able to face this truth I was able to face the fear
that came with it. Then I started telling myself the truth about everyone else in my life. Today I have a daily practice in which I will run through
my list and tell myself the truth privately and ask myself, what’s true for me.
The third level of truth is telling the truth about myself to another. This is difficult to do because your eggshell will throw every fear possible
towards you in order to keep you within its limits. But these fears will only keep you in the same state of confusion. Let go of the fear and just
focus on the honesty. Tell someone “here’s my truth about this and that” and leave it at that. One of the hardest truths in the history of the
human race is “I don’t want to” or “I don’t choose that.” Or “Thanks but no.” these are all very difficult because we have all been raised to be
people pleasers and telling someone everything about my truth may make them leave. This is a huge step, you will no longer hide behind
excuses because you have nothing to hide. You will also find that there is much more security and confidence in being who you truly are.
The fourth level of truth is telling my truth about others to others. This is where it gets really scary this will feel like a big time risk. You told
your truth about you and now you tell them your truth about them. You start to worry about whether or not they can handle it. The big fear
comes from them being able to handle it; it can be extremely scary when they just don’t care about something you feel. You may find yourself
thinking “what, this doesn’t bother you.”
The fifth level of truth is tell the truth to everyone about everything, to just always speak the truth to everyone about everything. It doesn’t
mean going up to someone on the street and asking “What’s wrong with your hair??” It means you are just willing to open up and be yourself. It
means that when you sit down and they expect nothing but truth from you, you will give them the truth. You will give them the whole truth and
that means the whole truth, not part truth.
It is important to know that a truth withheld is a lie told. That is our attempt to stay safe, to hold all the cards and protect our safety. Just
speak your whole truth, it will set you free and transform your life.
