Forgive me, Lord.
Today You taught me an important lesson, and I do not want to forget it ever.
I must thank this forum, too. Here I heard about a book called Frequency by Pastor Morris, it talks about the best way to find Your "frequency" and hear from You.
And I bought it, because I wanted to hear from You.
But why did I want to hear from You?
You are right, Lord. I come to You with my to-do list, expecting You, the King of Kings, to comply.
It is very childish and very selfish. You, on the contrary, want a freindship.
You want to know me and spend time with....me.
I find this difficult to believe, Lord. You want to get to know me.I do not know myself well. I do many things, I am always so busy......to numb a lot of pain, I guess. I do not like to spend time with myself, if I cannot numb myself with food, work or social media or Netflix. So why should You?
You want to get to know me. There is not much to know, Lord. I am a wounded person. I realize I choose to keep people at arm's length. Even people I do love dearly.
You are among them, Lord.
I am uncomfortable in talking. When things get too emotional, I switch on the professional mode.
Writing works better for me.
You are right to be offended. I should have not treated You in that way. I should not approach You with a to-do list. I know You can read and I know You know what I need.
But it is difficult for me to be loved, Father.
You know it.
It is difficult to trust and to talk and to get close to someone.
Can You please teach me? Can You make it less painful and less difficult?
I never thank You of the many things You do. I see them, but I do not "feel" them. I am numb. Pain makes people blind, numb, and lonesome.
Hurt people are difficult to deal with. I understand if You are crossed with me.
Could You please not give up on me? You are everything I have. Where would I be without You?
Today You taught me an important lesson, and I do not want to forget it ever.
I must thank this forum, too. Here I heard about a book called Frequency by Pastor Morris, it talks about the best way to find Your "frequency" and hear from You.
And I bought it, because I wanted to hear from You.
But why did I want to hear from You?
You are right, Lord. I come to You with my to-do list, expecting You, the King of Kings, to comply.
It is very childish and very selfish. You, on the contrary, want a freindship.
You want to know me and spend time with....me.
I find this difficult to believe, Lord. You want to get to know me.I do not know myself well. I do many things, I am always so busy......to numb a lot of pain, I guess. I do not like to spend time with myself, if I cannot numb myself with food, work or social media or Netflix. So why should You?
You want to get to know me. There is not much to know, Lord. I am a wounded person. I realize I choose to keep people at arm's length. Even people I do love dearly.
You are among them, Lord.
I am uncomfortable in talking. When things get too emotional, I switch on the professional mode.
Writing works better for me.
You are right to be offended. I should have not treated You in that way. I should not approach You with a to-do list. I know You can read and I know You know what I need.
But it is difficult for me to be loved, Father.
You know it.
It is difficult to trust and to talk and to get close to someone.
Can You please teach me? Can You make it less painful and less difficult?
I never thank You of the many things You do. I see them, but I do not "feel" them. I am numb. Pain makes people blind, numb, and lonesome.
Hurt people are difficult to deal with. I understand if You are crossed with me.
Could You please not give up on me? You are everything I have. Where would I be without You?