The price in this case is; a real price; money!
I have such anxiety about making decisions.
I forget to trust God! Wait upon God! I need to wait upon God through these decisions.. or make him make the decision, and I stay out of it! Im having a real hard time letting go of control.
Im having a hard time letting go!
Im putting my value and security into things. I forget about God. What does God want me to do.
My self worth is rapped up in things, what I own. If I sell what I own or what was given to me I am a bad person, a shameful deceitful person; that is how it feels. Im sneaking around the back! Im not facing forward and dealing with what is in front of me!
I suppose I just wanted to be taken care of! and I feel betrayed by my own flesh, by my own greed.
I thought I was perfect and better then this, I have contempt for 2 faced people like this, and I am ending up like this; 2 faced, it sucks that I am what I hate.
I am looking like the opportunists that I have hated all my life.
---------------------------------------------------
Possibly I do not know who I am. I am ruthless and greedy and want what I want when I want it, and do not want to do the work to get it! I would rather have it given to me on a silver platter!~
When it comes time to pay up for the maintenance costs, Im gone!
Am I the type to fix something up or buy something new to replace it!
Im not sure!
I do not want to loose value! I do not want to give something away in order to get something else.
I want someone else to take care of me!
Possibly, this is the crack in my armer! This is the area I need to learn trust.
------
When a car goes dead, do I get a new car, or keep fixing up the old one. Im not sure, I suppose it has to do with value.
I am so embarrassed to give up the old car and get a newer model. I feel like a sell out!
If feel controlled.
by the time I put in the money for the old; I could have bought something new!
I will have to pray about it!
I have such anxiety about making decisions.
I forget to trust God! Wait upon God! I need to wait upon God through these decisions.. or make him make the decision, and I stay out of it! Im having a real hard time letting go of control.
Im having a hard time letting go!
Im putting my value and security into things. I forget about God. What does God want me to do.
My self worth is rapped up in things, what I own. If I sell what I own or what was given to me I am a bad person, a shameful deceitful person; that is how it feels. Im sneaking around the back! Im not facing forward and dealing with what is in front of me!
I suppose I just wanted to be taken care of! and I feel betrayed by my own flesh, by my own greed.
I thought I was perfect and better then this, I have contempt for 2 faced people like this, and I am ending up like this; 2 faced, it sucks that I am what I hate.
I am looking like the opportunists that I have hated all my life.
---------------------------------------------------
Possibly I do not know who I am. I am ruthless and greedy and want what I want when I want it, and do not want to do the work to get it! I would rather have it given to me on a silver platter!~
When it comes time to pay up for the maintenance costs, Im gone!
Am I the type to fix something up or buy something new to replace it!
Im not sure!
I do not want to loose value! I do not want to give something away in order to get something else.
I want someone else to take care of me!
Possibly, this is the crack in my armer! This is the area I need to learn trust.
------
When a car goes dead, do I get a new car, or keep fixing up the old one. Im not sure, I suppose it has to do with value.
I am so embarrassed to give up the old car and get a newer model. I feel like a sell out!
If feel controlled.
by the time I put in the money for the old; I could have bought something new!
I will have to pray about it!
