I have my problems socially, that is all I will say. The reason; I don't have to tell you more then that. That is all I have to tell you.
What if I walked up to you and tried to smile at you. What would you think. Would you assume I was OK. Im not. My mind is broken and shattered and has grown back broken and shattered. My mind is dislocated. What would you think if you saw me. Would think my mind was dislocated. Would you have any idea. Probably not. Why would you think that if I was in a social setting with you, walking up to you. Or, Possibly you noticed me talking to someone else. It would appear Im fine. Am I. No, In fact my situation is so different, that others would not guess concerning the problems I deal with.
On one hand this is good. God has given me a practice area with people that will not rescue me. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. On the other hand, it gets frustrating and lonely, horrible at times.
My life is very small. I only go a few places. The inside of my brain, my mind is only capable of small short areas; Where I live, church, store, meetings, sometimes the park. The rest of the time Im on the computer or hiding.. You would not have guessed that I have these problems if you met me. Why would you. Yet, I have them...
I could have stayed alone all of my life with my problems. Instead I went on a journey with God. God has protected me out here in LA LA land as I venture further to strengthen my position.
Most people judge. Im an "IT", not an "I". Im an object, not a person. I get judged harshly by people. However, I get judged incorrectly by people. That is the savings grace. People have no idea what they are judging. They are either judging symptoms or they are judging shallow perceptions of surface materials. Im a human being, I don't think that matters to most people. Most people are into what you own, who you know and social positioning. If you saw me, you would think I have some of those traits. Those worldly traits. I have none.
Im attempting to learn how to wake up and respond.
Im not sure what God had in mind. I don't know.
I hope he brings me the right people. People that don't judge.
I love God. I don't like the middle class Christian stuff, its all fake and causes more harm to people then good. Its not authentic, its not based on the truth. The Bible is, God is, the people reading it at times are not.. I don't want there advice. Id end up dead with there bizarre advice.
I don't care what people think of me; I want them to leave me alone, except the ones who except me as a person. I don't need there advice, I just need people to go do things with and Talk about life.
Its slow. Im in earth school. Im practicing, its all practice.
What if I walked up to you and tried to smile at you. What would you think. Would you assume I was OK. Im not. My mind is broken and shattered and has grown back broken and shattered. My mind is dislocated. What would you think if you saw me. Would think my mind was dislocated. Would you have any idea. Probably not. Why would you think that if I was in a social setting with you, walking up to you. Or, Possibly you noticed me talking to someone else. It would appear Im fine. Am I. No, In fact my situation is so different, that others would not guess concerning the problems I deal with.
On one hand this is good. God has given me a practice area with people that will not rescue me. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. On the other hand, it gets frustrating and lonely, horrible at times.
My life is very small. I only go a few places. The inside of my brain, my mind is only capable of small short areas; Where I live, church, store, meetings, sometimes the park. The rest of the time Im on the computer or hiding.. You would not have guessed that I have these problems if you met me. Why would you. Yet, I have them...
I could have stayed alone all of my life with my problems. Instead I went on a journey with God. God has protected me out here in LA LA land as I venture further to strengthen my position.
Most people judge. Im an "IT", not an "I". Im an object, not a person. I get judged harshly by people. However, I get judged incorrectly by people. That is the savings grace. People have no idea what they are judging. They are either judging symptoms or they are judging shallow perceptions of surface materials. Im a human being, I don't think that matters to most people. Most people are into what you own, who you know and social positioning. If you saw me, you would think I have some of those traits. Those worldly traits. I have none.
Im attempting to learn how to wake up and respond.
Im not sure what God had in mind. I don't know.
I hope he brings me the right people. People that don't judge.
I love God. I don't like the middle class Christian stuff, its all fake and causes more harm to people then good. Its not authentic, its not based on the truth. The Bible is, God is, the people reading it at times are not.. I don't want there advice. Id end up dead with there bizarre advice.
I don't care what people think of me; I want them to leave me alone, except the ones who except me as a person. I don't need there advice, I just need people to go do things with and Talk about life.
Its slow. Im in earth school. Im practicing, its all practice.
