Every year should bring about change. Contemplating my life tonight, I see many different areas in which I have changed, even if that change is a continueing ongoing progress in me.
It has been this year that I have commited my dating life to God more fully. I no longer date non-Christian men. This has resulted in less dates, but in more joy for me as well. I know that I am not settling, and I also know that this is pleasing to God. Another thing that I have grown in this area of my life is contentment. To just be more content as a single. I feel I have a long way to go in the area of contentment as a single person, but I have grown so much in that this year.
Not only that, but I have just begun to recently realize something that I have had a hard time understanding for as long as I can remember: Why does God give us dreams if He won't bring them into reality? And I've wrestled with this especially in terms of marriage. I see many people who desire to get married and that does not become a reality. What are we to make of this?
The truth is, I am starting to believe, is that we will not have all our longings and desires come to pass on this earth. It's tough to think that, but for me, it is insightful. Sure we have hopes and dreams but in a fallen world, can we expect all of them to be realized here? Will every parent that wants a child be able to have one? And the questions like this one could be many.
So what do we do with all those hopes and dreams? I say we keep dreaming (don't let letdowns make you give up) but I also say that we use these things that we hope for and do not have, as a sacrifice to God. We give these things to God. The servant is not above the master. I know for myself that I get down at times due to hopes/dreams that I have that haven't yet come true and then I start to believe the lies of the devil that they don't come true as a result of something that perhaps I am being punished for, or I am not good enough for it, etc. We all believe the lies of satan. Intead of this though, this insight that we will not have all of our desires filled on earth, makes me take more hope in Christ.
I may not see all my hopes and dreams come to pass and that does not mean that God is punishing me or being cruel to me. It just means that I have that to give to God, to trust with God, to give as a sacrifice to God (to give up of myself the things I desire in order to live more fully for Him) and know that even if these things are not given to me here, I will someday be completly forfilled in Christ in heaven. As for now, these things can either be a stumbling block that makes me bitter and takes me away from God, or makes me run towards Him with my arms outstretched.
Trust. I had a major trial of trust this summer with God and of knowing more fully what it means to follow God's will. I was looking for a big bang or a sign in the sky. No Bible college for me. God said no. It was a process that I had to go through with God. And there are still times where I find myself a little perplexed as to why I am still here, especially when something "bad" or "unwanted" happens in my life and then I say: well, if you had sent me somewhere else God, this would not have happened. Such a bad attitude to have!!!!
Even when we are following God, it doesn't meant that life is going to be peachy. For many things, it is harder and more of a struggle. Funny though....it is much more joyful. Even though life is harder following Christ because one is going against the grain and the tide, one is more joyful inside. At least this is my experience. Am I happy all the time? No way. Do I fall and mess up? Yes way.
Speaking of falling and messing up...another lesson this year: just because we have been Christians for awhile doesn't mean that we aren't going to struggle in our faith from time to time. If you had told me that earlier this year, i wouldn't have bought that. To struggle in my faith meant to be weak and to just not get it right. Yet, our walk with God is a learning process. And in any relationship, we aren't always going to get things right. We make mistakes and we learn as we go along.
I struggle with this because I want my walk with God to be solid. Sometimes though I am so confused with my own actions. I know how Paul feels when he talked about not doing the things he wanted to do and then doing the things he didn't want to do. There are times when my faith is really strong and despite the circumstance, I keep walking with joy and faith. Other times it is all I can do to hang on.
And the mistakes I make that I find myself asking God: why did you allow this to happen for? I realize that it's a part of the fact that we as humans make choices. He gave us free will so that we might choose to love Him or reject Him. And to also choose how we live and what we do. He did this so we would come to Him on our own accord, and not because we have to love Him. Yet, in doing this, people often choose things that hurt others: lies, murder, cheating...etc. It isn't God who is causing these things to happen. We are doing it.
And so with my own life. I do something and don't like the result, even when I ignorantly did it without meaning it to be harmful or to have a disasterous result. In it though, we have confidence as Paul did that through Christ anything is possible.
And in our weaknesses we learn that it is truly of God that we are able to accomplish things, and not just in ourselves. For, if we did not have weaknesses, what would we need God for? What would make us persue Him?
This year also brought change to my job place. It was a blessing, for sure. I was uncertain if I could do this job for it required things of me that I really have a hard time with: facilitating meetings, speaking on the phone a lot, etc. Yet, I am so grateful that God put me in a place that I might gain experience in these areas and to see that I have a lot more in me than I ever thought possible. I have been able to overcome my stuttering obstacle enough to be able to facilitate and run meetings, discuss client issues on the phone, etc.
And at my workplace, to also learn to keep my attitude in check and to work with co-workers who clash with me in some way. I am so glad for these challenges so that I might learn and grow!
In November I had the challenge of being in the hospital for a week. That is the first time that I have ever been in a hospital as a non-visitor. I wasn't even born in a hospital. Throwing up has got to be one of the most misreable things in the world. I take that back...the feeling of needing to throw up is.
This experience was very hard for me; the hardest experience of 2008. And I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all such as in bills, etc. Yet I am grateful to be alive, as the hospital told me that I could have died. I tend to take what I hear from the hospital though with a grain of salt. Not everything I was told there adds up. So throw in some salt with what you hear. This is an experience and a situation that I still continue to have to give over to God on many different levels. I know from past experience though that some of the worst things in my life have turned out to have some of the gratest change (for the better) in my life. I only hope that it will be true of this as well.
Phew, it looks like I have nearly written a book here. My last book of 2008. I just wanted to share with anyone interested, some of the things I have thought about. I tend to think that everyone else already has these things down and I am slow in learning these things...but that's ok. Maybe not. I'm not the brightest brick here
I look forward to a new year to learn even more things!
Change coming:
*moving tomorrow!
*new president this year
It has been this year that I have commited my dating life to God more fully. I no longer date non-Christian men. This has resulted in less dates, but in more joy for me as well. I know that I am not settling, and I also know that this is pleasing to God. Another thing that I have grown in this area of my life is contentment. To just be more content as a single. I feel I have a long way to go in the area of contentment as a single person, but I have grown so much in that this year.
Not only that, but I have just begun to recently realize something that I have had a hard time understanding for as long as I can remember: Why does God give us dreams if He won't bring them into reality? And I've wrestled with this especially in terms of marriage. I see many people who desire to get married and that does not become a reality. What are we to make of this?
The truth is, I am starting to believe, is that we will not have all our longings and desires come to pass on this earth. It's tough to think that, but for me, it is insightful. Sure we have hopes and dreams but in a fallen world, can we expect all of them to be realized here? Will every parent that wants a child be able to have one? And the questions like this one could be many.
So what do we do with all those hopes and dreams? I say we keep dreaming (don't let letdowns make you give up) but I also say that we use these things that we hope for and do not have, as a sacrifice to God. We give these things to God. The servant is not above the master. I know for myself that I get down at times due to hopes/dreams that I have that haven't yet come true and then I start to believe the lies of the devil that they don't come true as a result of something that perhaps I am being punished for, or I am not good enough for it, etc. We all believe the lies of satan. Intead of this though, this insight that we will not have all of our desires filled on earth, makes me take more hope in Christ.
I may not see all my hopes and dreams come to pass and that does not mean that God is punishing me or being cruel to me. It just means that I have that to give to God, to trust with God, to give as a sacrifice to God (to give up of myself the things I desire in order to live more fully for Him) and know that even if these things are not given to me here, I will someday be completly forfilled in Christ in heaven. As for now, these things can either be a stumbling block that makes me bitter and takes me away from God, or makes me run towards Him with my arms outstretched.
Trust. I had a major trial of trust this summer with God and of knowing more fully what it means to follow God's will. I was looking for a big bang or a sign in the sky. No Bible college for me. God said no. It was a process that I had to go through with God. And there are still times where I find myself a little perplexed as to why I am still here, especially when something "bad" or "unwanted" happens in my life and then I say: well, if you had sent me somewhere else God, this would not have happened. Such a bad attitude to have!!!!
Even when we are following God, it doesn't meant that life is going to be peachy. For many things, it is harder and more of a struggle. Funny though....it is much more joyful. Even though life is harder following Christ because one is going against the grain and the tide, one is more joyful inside. At least this is my experience. Am I happy all the time? No way. Do I fall and mess up? Yes way.
Speaking of falling and messing up...another lesson this year: just because we have been Christians for awhile doesn't mean that we aren't going to struggle in our faith from time to time. If you had told me that earlier this year, i wouldn't have bought that. To struggle in my faith meant to be weak and to just not get it right. Yet, our walk with God is a learning process. And in any relationship, we aren't always going to get things right. We make mistakes and we learn as we go along.
I struggle with this because I want my walk with God to be solid. Sometimes though I am so confused with my own actions. I know how Paul feels when he talked about not doing the things he wanted to do and then doing the things he didn't want to do. There are times when my faith is really strong and despite the circumstance, I keep walking with joy and faith. Other times it is all I can do to hang on.
And the mistakes I make that I find myself asking God: why did you allow this to happen for? I realize that it's a part of the fact that we as humans make choices. He gave us free will so that we might choose to love Him or reject Him. And to also choose how we live and what we do. He did this so we would come to Him on our own accord, and not because we have to love Him. Yet, in doing this, people often choose things that hurt others: lies, murder, cheating...etc. It isn't God who is causing these things to happen. We are doing it.
And so with my own life. I do something and don't like the result, even when I ignorantly did it without meaning it to be harmful or to have a disasterous result. In it though, we have confidence as Paul did that through Christ anything is possible.
And in our weaknesses we learn that it is truly of God that we are able to accomplish things, and not just in ourselves. For, if we did not have weaknesses, what would we need God for? What would make us persue Him?
This year also brought change to my job place. It was a blessing, for sure. I was uncertain if I could do this job for it required things of me that I really have a hard time with: facilitating meetings, speaking on the phone a lot, etc. Yet, I am so grateful that God put me in a place that I might gain experience in these areas and to see that I have a lot more in me than I ever thought possible. I have been able to overcome my stuttering obstacle enough to be able to facilitate and run meetings, discuss client issues on the phone, etc.
And at my workplace, to also learn to keep my attitude in check and to work with co-workers who clash with me in some way. I am so glad for these challenges so that I might learn and grow!
In November I had the challenge of being in the hospital for a week. That is the first time that I have ever been in a hospital as a non-visitor. I wasn't even born in a hospital. Throwing up has got to be one of the most misreable things in the world. I take that back...the feeling of needing to throw up is.
This experience was very hard for me; the hardest experience of 2008. And I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all such as in bills, etc. Yet I am grateful to be alive, as the hospital told me that I could have died. I tend to take what I hear from the hospital though with a grain of salt. Not everything I was told there adds up. So throw in some salt with what you hear. This is an experience and a situation that I still continue to have to give over to God on many different levels. I know from past experience though that some of the worst things in my life have turned out to have some of the gratest change (for the better) in my life. I only hope that it will be true of this as well.Phew, it looks like I have nearly written a book here. My last book of 2008. I just wanted to share with anyone interested, some of the things I have thought about. I tend to think that everyone else already has these things down and I am slow in learning these things...but that's ok. Maybe not. I'm not the brightest brick here
I look forward to a new year to learn even more things!
Change coming:
*moving tomorrow!
*new president this year
