So Ive never blogged before

So Ive never blogged before but my pastor said it my be a way of getting through my grief a little better. I lost my husband 3 months ago. It was and wasnt expected. My husband had alot of health problems and we always knew he would go before me, however I had no idea it would be so soon. Somehow I used to think it would be a relief after he went. He was in so much pain and so miserable I just wanted him to be able to have some peace. After he died there was no relief only guilt for thinking that it would be better. He is out of pain and I am miserable. I miss him so much and I dont know who I am without him. We were together 25 years. I thought we would always be together. There are times i sit and think if i only had one more moment what i would say to him. I wonder if I was a good wife and did I take care of him the best that I could. I miss him and I am so lonely that somdays it is a physical pain. Somedays I have to drag myself out of bed just to go to work. I am emotionally drained and so are my adult children.If our life is but a mist how come the mist seems so long? It didnt seem like it when he was here with me but know that he is gone it seems like forever. I just continue each day knowing that God will never allow me more than i can handle. I am going to try and blog everyday I hope that this will help me but eventually i hope that it will help someone else.