Hmm..so a recent argument with my fiance has gotten me thinking so much that I decided to post a blog about it. I figured I should let people know at least why I do or say things sometimes.
I will say..its very VERY difficult for me to empathize with others. I can't put myself in their shoes and imagine how something I say or do may effect them. I can't listen to their sad stories and imagine how horrible they must feel. But that's not a religion problem, its just how I am and I have always been this way, I would be the same whether I sang praises to Jesus or Odin.
I'm selfish and I usually only think about how something will affect me..I mean why beat around the bush about it right?
I get apathetic a lot to where I just don't care about ANYTHING except what's most important to me which would be my Nick (cognitive), my family, two or three best friends, and my animals. I don't care about my career, my future, whats going on in my life at the time, nothing registers as important. I had one of those moments for a short time last night wish worried a few of the members here. It was nice to know people cared, and I appreciate it, but it would be fair to say that such spells are not unusual for me and they can last for an hour or weeks at a time.
I have an overwhelming urge to corrupt, maybe thats why I was so happy over being called "a wolf in sheeps clothing". I like being the temptress maiden that drags them away from their holy sanctuaries into the dark night. *smirks*
I'm also a glutton for attention..I absolutely thrive on it. Negative or positive attention doesn't matter, but it seems that I get the biggest fix out of being flirted with, having admirers and knowing that they can never have me because I'm with Nick and I'm devoted to him and him alone. But Nick has noticed it, that when I get the slightest bit of attention I do something to get more of it, like I demand it. And its true..I do.
I'm naturally sullen and bitter and drawn to "darker" things. The fall and winter are my favorite seasons and I enjoy the night more than the day. Lol, the interior matches the exterior.
I'm terrible for showing any emotions whatsoever. I mean I am usually found giggling and laughing if around the right people, but mostly I can be found with a slight frown on my face. I'm quite mellow and its somewhat hard to get me excited. Adversely, its hard for me to show love. I can say "I love you" to Nick until we're both blue in the face, but to get that emotion out of me is hard. Its inherited from my mom..she's the same way..ice cold. Its also hard for me to cry..I never cry unless I'm watching tv or something extremely horrible happens..or its that time. I was the same way as a kid where I wouldn't allow myself to show any sort of weakness emotional or otherwise. That would help things too though..if I could just cry instead of holding things inside and acting like living stone.
Its all of those things that get me in trouble, that cause my problems, but those are things that I think are almost impossible to change. It would take a great deal of effort and maybe even a portion of my being to change that which I inherently am.
I will say..its very VERY difficult for me to empathize with others. I can't put myself in their shoes and imagine how something I say or do may effect them. I can't listen to their sad stories and imagine how horrible they must feel. But that's not a religion problem, its just how I am and I have always been this way, I would be the same whether I sang praises to Jesus or Odin.
I'm selfish and I usually only think about how something will affect me..I mean why beat around the bush about it right?
I get apathetic a lot to where I just don't care about ANYTHING except what's most important to me which would be my Nick (cognitive), my family, two or three best friends, and my animals. I don't care about my career, my future, whats going on in my life at the time, nothing registers as important. I had one of those moments for a short time last night wish worried a few of the members here. It was nice to know people cared, and I appreciate it, but it would be fair to say that such spells are not unusual for me and they can last for an hour or weeks at a time.
I have an overwhelming urge to corrupt, maybe thats why I was so happy over being called "a wolf in sheeps clothing". I like being the temptress maiden that drags them away from their holy sanctuaries into the dark night. *smirks*
I'm also a glutton for attention..I absolutely thrive on it. Negative or positive attention doesn't matter, but it seems that I get the biggest fix out of being flirted with, having admirers and knowing that they can never have me because I'm with Nick and I'm devoted to him and him alone. But Nick has noticed it, that when I get the slightest bit of attention I do something to get more of it, like I demand it. And its true..I do.
I'm naturally sullen and bitter and drawn to "darker" things. The fall and winter are my favorite seasons and I enjoy the night more than the day. Lol, the interior matches the exterior.
I'm terrible for showing any emotions whatsoever. I mean I am usually found giggling and laughing if around the right people, but mostly I can be found with a slight frown on my face. I'm quite mellow and its somewhat hard to get me excited. Adversely, its hard for me to show love. I can say "I love you" to Nick until we're both blue in the face, but to get that emotion out of me is hard. Its inherited from my mom..she's the same way..ice cold. Its also hard for me to cry..I never cry unless I'm watching tv or something extremely horrible happens..or its that time. I was the same way as a kid where I wouldn't allow myself to show any sort of weakness emotional or otherwise. That would help things too though..if I could just cry instead of holding things inside and acting like living stone.
Its all of those things that get me in trouble, that cause my problems, but those are things that I think are almost impossible to change. It would take a great deal of effort and maybe even a portion of my being to change that which I inherently am.
