It's not even noon yet, and I already feel like crap. Disowned and unestablished. Why, I honestly have no clue. It's just... One of those days, I guess. It's almost like boredom and misery are my two only friends, and I've been trying to fight them for so long now... They have so much endurance to stay right there, on my heels, all the time and make sure even the best days have misery and boredom weaved in and out of them like threads weaving in and out of each other to make a rope. On top of that, it's 90 here, and so humid that if you spit, it's going to pour.
Like I said, misery. I finally realized that the saying about misery, and how it loves company is pretty true. They should have a quick little quip about boredom. Well, my mom's always said that only boring people get bored, but I can assure you, I'm not boring. So what do I do?
I found out this woman likes me a couple days ago. How, I have no clue as I don't really see anything in myself. So how could somebody else? But the thing about this woman, yes she's beautiful and funny, but I don't think I could ever get involved in a relationship with her. I don't see it going anywhere, at least not in the near future. I need a woman that's going to settle me down, and make it so I don't make stupid choices and decisions all the time. Either that, or death needs to hurry and claim me, because I can't take this ANY more. Really, I can't. I'm sick of being depressed, only raising others spirits and not my own, being there for everybody and then not having anybody. I know, I know, this is what all my blogs are about, that's how I know people aren't reading them.
I need to figure out what I'm gonna do. I'm done holding secrets about myself. I need to clean out my closet and sort out everything that I haven't. I know when I do this, I'll lose everything, and I'm pretty sure I'll be disowned, but maybe it'll help...
Maybe it'll fix my broken mind. Maybe it'll give me another chance at life... Or maybe it'll plunge me deeper in this neverending pit I've been falling in for a while now...
I guess it's worth a shot...
Like I said, misery. I finally realized that the saying about misery, and how it loves company is pretty true. They should have a quick little quip about boredom. Well, my mom's always said that only boring people get bored, but I can assure you, I'm not boring. So what do I do?
I found out this woman likes me a couple days ago. How, I have no clue as I don't really see anything in myself. So how could somebody else? But the thing about this woman, yes she's beautiful and funny, but I don't think I could ever get involved in a relationship with her. I don't see it going anywhere, at least not in the near future. I need a woman that's going to settle me down, and make it so I don't make stupid choices and decisions all the time. Either that, or death needs to hurry and claim me, because I can't take this ANY more. Really, I can't. I'm sick of being depressed, only raising others spirits and not my own, being there for everybody and then not having anybody. I know, I know, this is what all my blogs are about, that's how I know people aren't reading them.
I need to figure out what I'm gonna do. I'm done holding secrets about myself. I need to clean out my closet and sort out everything that I haven't. I know when I do this, I'll lose everything, and I'm pretty sure I'll be disowned, but maybe it'll help...
Maybe it'll fix my broken mind. Maybe it'll give me another chance at life... Or maybe it'll plunge me deeper in this neverending pit I've been falling in for a while now...
I guess it's worth a shot...
