Sad

I am recently divorced. My story is not any different but I'm hurting and I need help to get over this hurt and build my life up. I wasn't the best wife meaning the say the bible says I should have been. I was willing to work out the mess and the problems. He told me a lot of lies and I asked thst he just prove to me he wanted me. He told me he no longer wanted to be married thst he was turning off the water and lights. We got back together. 7 months later he wants a divorce. He never loved me. I was a temp not making much he terminated our lease and moved in with family. I had no where to go. I rented a room 4 months later he's back with the I love yous I missed you. I wanted mg marriage to work. So I believed needless to say Hs left cause I asked him was he seeing anyone. He felt I should have let things happen. Well 3 weeks later he's back. Samething happened. Why did I allow him to use me like that why do I think I did something wrong how do I get over him now that we are divorced. why do I feel God is punishing me. He makes more money and has family here I have nighing. Help I don't want to feel like this. I know it's a sin