I realized that being Christian would not really change the world I live in. I had the same code of morals that a traditional Christian had- I was respectful, kind, considerate, and always tried to help people around me. Because of how I lived my life, I thought about how being Christian [or in my case... considering not being Christian] would not change the life that I was living. However, even though being Christian would not change the world that I lived in, it would change the world which I die in.
Another thing I have been wrestling with is that my main motivation for being Christian lies in the rewards or punishments of my religion. This was a MAJOR area of contention between myself and my spiritual self. Because of this inner conflict, I neglected the Church, Bible, and all things associated with Christianity. I felt that in order to be a good Christian, I needed to ignore the promise of heaven and want to worship God just to worship HIM. I have recently come to the conclusion that we are all works in progress. God loves us even with our flaws. We all have weaknesses and faults. Through God, we can conquer these. I should not distance myself from GOD just because of my human inadequacies; however, I should work on these with HIS help.
Another thing I have been wrestling with is that my main motivation for being Christian lies in the rewards or punishments of my religion. This was a MAJOR area of contention between myself and my spiritual self. Because of this inner conflict, I neglected the Church, Bible, and all things associated with Christianity. I felt that in order to be a good Christian, I needed to ignore the promise of heaven and want to worship God just to worship HIM. I have recently come to the conclusion that we are all works in progress. God loves us even with our flaws. We all have weaknesses and faults. Through God, we can conquer these. I should not distance myself from GOD just because of my human inadequacies; however, I should work on these with HIS help.
