Rethinking Family
21 August 2013
“Through several incidents that have recently happened I have found myself re-examining what it REALLY means to be family or a sister or brother. It seemed like the word is lost in a sea of blah and ambiguity and it has become just a hollow word without substance. I love my church family and each brother and sister there and yet I really don't truly know them apart from church and I wrestle with that realization. We talk and we pray for each other and yet in the busyness of lifw we never really sup or break bread and get past the superficial to really touch the heart and soul of each person. This is really grieving me and I long to see it change. I just need to step out and be real whether good or bad. I know I will find the answers because Daddy created family and I know He desires that we too experience the blessing that being true family brings”
The above is a post I did this morning venting my frustration with the status quo. I know that I as much as anyone else have caused it to be acceptable but it doesn’t make it right. My wife and I were talking this morning and I was reminiscing my youthful days when my parents and aunts and uncles made it a high priority to have family gatherings and reunions throughout the year. At the time I guess I tolerated it as much as I enjoyed it and yet now I am feeling a deep longing for that kind of intimacy within an extended family. My generation is so busy and pre-occupied with “me” time that we have done a great disservice to our children and future generations. I am not making an excuse but this was ignited by a trans sister up North that I had been starting a relationship with some months ago dropped a note saying I hadn’t been much of a sister to her because I hadn’t stayed in contact. My schedule has been quite full with life and mini crisis’s and it actually slipped out of my mind but as I read that statement it spoke volumes to me and dredged up memories of times past as well as present. I spent 12 years in my former church and except for a select few for the most part they were closer to acquaintances than family. Yes we said family but it was almost like asking someone how they were doing when you really didn’t want the truth but you were trying to be cordial. My first wife Genevieve cherished the idea of family and she held our family together at all costs. She had not had the privilege of growing up in a stable, loving family setting and when she saw how my family always came together she knew how precious a gift it really was. I keep thinking back to Psalm 133 where the psalmist speaks fo the blessing of dwelling together in unity and I wonder where we lost track of this promise. To be able to dwell together and to walk in honest unity is not an easy thing to do in our own flesh and yet the promise of the anointing was attached to the conditions. I didn’t write the playbook I just report it. We are hearing a fresh sound in the spirit of an incoming of sons and daughters and no one person is going to be able to meet and/or provide their needs on every level. It is going to take more than a committee or handful of dedicated workers. It is going to take a family living in the anointing from dwelling in unity. We each have spheres of influence Daddy has placed in our lives but just like Moses we are going to need others to lift our arms and strengthen us in the midst of the battles. Jesus is recorded in the Gospels as having a last supper with His disciples and He said “Do this in remembrance of Me”. It is time to erase all the haloes and angelic expression from the participants and re-examine that night. Jesus had a quiet meal with His followers and they probably sat and talked of everything imaginable and asked Him and each other a thousand questions. That is what usually happens when I have a meal with friends. Jesus washed their feet symbolic of washing away the dirt of the world that would cling to us otherwise but to them it was a custom of showing honor to a guest that entered your home. I know when I have guests into my home I try to show them honor and prefer their needs over my own. It is like being a servant to one you honor and I personally believe it is an attitude that should be a very real part of our daily lives. Back to the Last Supper, this was His last time with them and He wanted to make a statement from His heart to theirs. He desires us to come together, to be real warts and all and to let the Holy Spirit draw us closer together even as He shows us how to support and undergird one another. The book of Acts speaks of how everyone had all things in common and went from house to house breaking bread. It also speaks of how brothers and sisters were being added daily. If you are looking for a church growth plan I can't think of a better one but be prepared for your "church" to become true “family” because that is how the Holy Spirit works. He isn’t brooding over us because He is bored, He is protecting and nurturing the new growth. The next time I see someone and call them sister or brother I pray that it won’t just be a glib word or familiar greeting but it will come out of a heart that has become sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s renewing of my understanding of how truly special it is to call someone your brother or sister and that when I speak of family it will flow out of a heart aligned with the Father’s own heart towards His family. He keeps taking me back to what He spoke to me back in early spring…”Daughter you have not walked this way before” and maybe I am finally getting a glimpse of what He was saying that night. Be Blessed.
Charlena Marie Andrews-Hayes
21 August 2013
“Through several incidents that have recently happened I have found myself re-examining what it REALLY means to be family or a sister or brother. It seemed like the word is lost in a sea of blah and ambiguity and it has become just a hollow word without substance. I love my church family and each brother and sister there and yet I really don't truly know them apart from church and I wrestle with that realization. We talk and we pray for each other and yet in the busyness of lifw we never really sup or break bread and get past the superficial to really touch the heart and soul of each person. This is really grieving me and I long to see it change. I just need to step out and be real whether good or bad. I know I will find the answers because Daddy created family and I know He desires that we too experience the blessing that being true family brings”
The above is a post I did this morning venting my frustration with the status quo. I know that I as much as anyone else have caused it to be acceptable but it doesn’t make it right. My wife and I were talking this morning and I was reminiscing my youthful days when my parents and aunts and uncles made it a high priority to have family gatherings and reunions throughout the year. At the time I guess I tolerated it as much as I enjoyed it and yet now I am feeling a deep longing for that kind of intimacy within an extended family. My generation is so busy and pre-occupied with “me” time that we have done a great disservice to our children and future generations. I am not making an excuse but this was ignited by a trans sister up North that I had been starting a relationship with some months ago dropped a note saying I hadn’t been much of a sister to her because I hadn’t stayed in contact. My schedule has been quite full with life and mini crisis’s and it actually slipped out of my mind but as I read that statement it spoke volumes to me and dredged up memories of times past as well as present. I spent 12 years in my former church and except for a select few for the most part they were closer to acquaintances than family. Yes we said family but it was almost like asking someone how they were doing when you really didn’t want the truth but you were trying to be cordial. My first wife Genevieve cherished the idea of family and she held our family together at all costs. She had not had the privilege of growing up in a stable, loving family setting and when she saw how my family always came together she knew how precious a gift it really was. I keep thinking back to Psalm 133 where the psalmist speaks fo the blessing of dwelling together in unity and I wonder where we lost track of this promise. To be able to dwell together and to walk in honest unity is not an easy thing to do in our own flesh and yet the promise of the anointing was attached to the conditions. I didn’t write the playbook I just report it. We are hearing a fresh sound in the spirit of an incoming of sons and daughters and no one person is going to be able to meet and/or provide their needs on every level. It is going to take more than a committee or handful of dedicated workers. It is going to take a family living in the anointing from dwelling in unity. We each have spheres of influence Daddy has placed in our lives but just like Moses we are going to need others to lift our arms and strengthen us in the midst of the battles. Jesus is recorded in the Gospels as having a last supper with His disciples and He said “Do this in remembrance of Me”. It is time to erase all the haloes and angelic expression from the participants and re-examine that night. Jesus had a quiet meal with His followers and they probably sat and talked of everything imaginable and asked Him and each other a thousand questions. That is what usually happens when I have a meal with friends. Jesus washed their feet symbolic of washing away the dirt of the world that would cling to us otherwise but to them it was a custom of showing honor to a guest that entered your home. I know when I have guests into my home I try to show them honor and prefer their needs over my own. It is like being a servant to one you honor and I personally believe it is an attitude that should be a very real part of our daily lives. Back to the Last Supper, this was His last time with them and He wanted to make a statement from His heart to theirs. He desires us to come together, to be real warts and all and to let the Holy Spirit draw us closer together even as He shows us how to support and undergird one another. The book of Acts speaks of how everyone had all things in common and went from house to house breaking bread. It also speaks of how brothers and sisters were being added daily. If you are looking for a church growth plan I can't think of a better one but be prepared for your "church" to become true “family” because that is how the Holy Spirit works. He isn’t brooding over us because He is bored, He is protecting and nurturing the new growth. The next time I see someone and call them sister or brother I pray that it won’t just be a glib word or familiar greeting but it will come out of a heart that has become sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s renewing of my understanding of how truly special it is to call someone your brother or sister and that when I speak of family it will flow out of a heart aligned with the Father’s own heart towards His family. He keeps taking me back to what He spoke to me back in early spring…”Daughter you have not walked this way before” and maybe I am finally getting a glimpse of what He was saying that night. Be Blessed.
Charlena Marie Andrews-Hayes
