Lord, here I am, thinking about your goodness in my life. Thanking you with all my heart because you are true to your promises. I came to the point that I gave up on myself but Lord You hold on to me, you never gave up on me.
A year ago, physically, everything in my life seemed just fine. I got a well paying job, a loving boyfriend, I could eat at Jolibee anytime I want , I had unlimited internet and enough money to pay for the bills and send some to my parents. Yes, I was happy, knowing that my parents were proud of me and I had just enough money to treat them to Shakeys and Mang Inasal. But deep inside me, there was emptiness. I could not find any sense in my life, I wanted to break free and really do the things I love , but by doing so, I would risk the comfort that my parents were just starting to experience.
Lord, I had just enough but I was not happy knowing in my heart that I lost hold of You in the process.
Everything that this world can give means nothing if I do not have You in my life. I made crazy decisions thinking that thru it I would feel complete, thinking that maybe by giving all my heart to it I will be satisfied. How deceived I was. I was so wrong. Slowly, I lost my self-worth, my confidence, my faith. I was thirsting for You. Gone are those days that I would wake up feeling so excited and renewed because of You. I could not tell anyone...besides who would understand? I could not even get the courage to talk to You because of the crazy things I've done. I was so far away from You.
Despite of my imperfections and my mistakes you answered my longings by bringing me the people whom I never expected would become a big part of my life. Through them You reached out to me. Slowly, I was gaining back my self-worth. Slowly, I was running towards my fears. Slowly, I was looking up to You. I was so delighted that everything was going well after I decided to leave my job at TP. And then, I was put to test. Slowly, I was stripped off of this life's comfort. But I told myself that it would be just fine. I would show these people that my life is more comfortable because of my business. I will never let anyone know that I do not have enough money to pay my bills and loan. So, I tried to convince myself that I was already living a life of comfort but deep in my heart I was beginning to worry. Worry about the loan, the bills, the food, the shampoo, the soap and the drinking water. But what I worried the most was the things that these people would say. That I made a mistake by leaving my job and doing business instead. No! I will never let anyone know! Yes, I had been stripped off of these material things but never will my pride let them know what I was really going through! I can do this myself!!!
I was so filled with pride that chose to go home to Bicol. Telling my partners that I would start building my Bicol group but the truth was, my pride could not take the fact that I was slowly losing the comfort I used to have…I ran away.
Two months…Most of the days, I would cry myself to sleep. Thinking that maybe they were right. Maybe I was just a fool by believing that I will succeed in this business. Through this business I started to depend on You again...but I just couldn't take the fact that most of my leaders were growing cold, I just couldn’t take the rejections, my pride just wont take it! But in that 2 months You slowly changed my heart and taught me to, slowly, let loose of my pride. Whenever I feel down, you would put me in a situation that would strengthen my faith and belief that You have a plan for me in this business. You led me to the people who encouraged me to continue with the business. You never gave up on me.
After months of ups and downs, pay ins and zero balances, rejections and discouragements, here I am, still standing and is more committed than ever because of You! Through my team, You taught me to lead and have confidence in this business. I am truly blessed to have these people around.
Now, I am more confident! Lord, I will never give up on myself as long as You are not giving up on me…and I know you never will. I have never been this certain and determined and its all because of You. Lord, remind me of the reason why I'm doing this. If anyone deserves to be blessed, its my parents. Lord, it is my joy to honor them and it hurts me deeply to see them in this situation. But You are faithful and true to Your promises. As my life verse says, "NO ONE whose HOPE is IN THE LORD will ever be put to shame." - Psalm 25:3a. Lord, lets do this together!!! My hope is in YOU!!!
A year ago, physically, everything in my life seemed just fine. I got a well paying job, a loving boyfriend, I could eat at Jolibee anytime I want , I had unlimited internet and enough money to pay for the bills and send some to my parents. Yes, I was happy, knowing that my parents were proud of me and I had just enough money to treat them to Shakeys and Mang Inasal. But deep inside me, there was emptiness. I could not find any sense in my life, I wanted to break free and really do the things I love , but by doing so, I would risk the comfort that my parents were just starting to experience.
Lord, I had just enough but I was not happy knowing in my heart that I lost hold of You in the process.
Everything that this world can give means nothing if I do not have You in my life. I made crazy decisions thinking that thru it I would feel complete, thinking that maybe by giving all my heart to it I will be satisfied. How deceived I was. I was so wrong. Slowly, I lost my self-worth, my confidence, my faith. I was thirsting for You. Gone are those days that I would wake up feeling so excited and renewed because of You. I could not tell anyone...besides who would understand? I could not even get the courage to talk to You because of the crazy things I've done. I was so far away from You.
Despite of my imperfections and my mistakes you answered my longings by bringing me the people whom I never expected would become a big part of my life. Through them You reached out to me. Slowly, I was gaining back my self-worth. Slowly, I was running towards my fears. Slowly, I was looking up to You. I was so delighted that everything was going well after I decided to leave my job at TP. And then, I was put to test. Slowly, I was stripped off of this life's comfort. But I told myself that it would be just fine. I would show these people that my life is more comfortable because of my business. I will never let anyone know that I do not have enough money to pay my bills and loan. So, I tried to convince myself that I was already living a life of comfort but deep in my heart I was beginning to worry. Worry about the loan, the bills, the food, the shampoo, the soap and the drinking water. But what I worried the most was the things that these people would say. That I made a mistake by leaving my job and doing business instead. No! I will never let anyone know! Yes, I had been stripped off of these material things but never will my pride let them know what I was really going through! I can do this myself!!!
I was so filled with pride that chose to go home to Bicol. Telling my partners that I would start building my Bicol group but the truth was, my pride could not take the fact that I was slowly losing the comfort I used to have…I ran away.
Two months…Most of the days, I would cry myself to sleep. Thinking that maybe they were right. Maybe I was just a fool by believing that I will succeed in this business. Through this business I started to depend on You again...but I just couldn't take the fact that most of my leaders were growing cold, I just couldn’t take the rejections, my pride just wont take it! But in that 2 months You slowly changed my heart and taught me to, slowly, let loose of my pride. Whenever I feel down, you would put me in a situation that would strengthen my faith and belief that You have a plan for me in this business. You led me to the people who encouraged me to continue with the business. You never gave up on me.
After months of ups and downs, pay ins and zero balances, rejections and discouragements, here I am, still standing and is more committed than ever because of You! Through my team, You taught me to lead and have confidence in this business. I am truly blessed to have these people around.
Now, I am more confident! Lord, I will never give up on myself as long as You are not giving up on me…and I know you never will. I have never been this certain and determined and its all because of You. Lord, remind me of the reason why I'm doing this. If anyone deserves to be blessed, its my parents. Lord, it is my joy to honor them and it hurts me deeply to see them in this situation. But You are faithful and true to Your promises. As my life verse says, "NO ONE whose HOPE is IN THE LORD will ever be put to shame." - Psalm 25:3a. Lord, lets do this together!!! My hope is in YOU!!!
