"Here I am....once again..."
That is a line from a worship song. I find myself back around the mountain again. I stumble...I sin...but I repent. I turn back to the narrow path.
Some background...
I became a Christian at 16 and instantly became a sponge...absorbing everything there was to absorb. I read my Bible all the time...I prayed. I stopped swearing (and called everyone a "potty-mouth"). It was awesome. I had the faith of a mountain. Me and God...we were a team...we were going to change the world!
I think I became a little too absorbed in everything. I was part of this thing through my church at the time called a Discipleship House. Think...Real World meets a Christian enviornment. Oh...we weren't co-ed, either. We had certain obligations in order to fulfill our contract. Yep...we had a contract. Curfew of 10pm. We had to attend 2 different Bible studies each week...one for just us in the house (there were 5 of us) and one that was open to more people. We had to pray as a group for an hour a week. We had to volunteer at the church. We had to have 3 meals a week together. And of course we had to attend church every Sunday.
It was my second year in college and I was a biochemistry major at the time, so I was taking physics, organic chemistry, biology, calculus, and a world history class. As can be imagined...I had no outside friends at that point...I didn't have time. By the end of the 1 year commitment, I was so burnt out on the "church" thing. I stopped going...stopped reading my bible....mostly everything. I would pray and seek God on occasion, but it was by no means consistent.
Flash to 3 years ago. I met and married a wonderful man. Not a Christian, but he's such a good man. He nags me more than my mom does about going to church because he knows it was a huge part of my life. He doesn't want to be the reason I don't go. Anyway, I felt the familiar tug on my heart. Hadn't felt it for a while, but I was feeling it then. I started sporadically going to church again.
Then, an amazing thing happened about a year ago. The pastor from my hometown moved to my current town. That was an issue for me...I didn't really know anyone at church so I didn't really feel all that comfortable. But then Pastor Tom moved here. I am sure he changed some of my diapers. He still uses my middle name when he talks to me...it's awesome. I feel at home now. So, I switched my shift at work (I used to work nights...7pm to 7am) so that I could go on Sundays.
I've started reading my Bible again and praying. And not the "now I lay me down to sleep" type of prayer. I mean really praying. That isn't as consistant as I want it yet, but I'm getting there.
Isn't it so wonderful that God is so forgiving? I can remember a time when I was frustrated and I cried out to God..."where are you?"
His response was..."Turn around. I've always been right here."
I am so thankful that I have another chance.
That is a line from a worship song. I find myself back around the mountain again. I stumble...I sin...but I repent. I turn back to the narrow path.
Some background...
I became a Christian at 16 and instantly became a sponge...absorbing everything there was to absorb. I read my Bible all the time...I prayed. I stopped swearing (and called everyone a "potty-mouth"). It was awesome. I had the faith of a mountain. Me and God...we were a team...we were going to change the world!
I think I became a little too absorbed in everything. I was part of this thing through my church at the time called a Discipleship House. Think...Real World meets a Christian enviornment. Oh...we weren't co-ed, either. We had certain obligations in order to fulfill our contract. Yep...we had a contract. Curfew of 10pm. We had to attend 2 different Bible studies each week...one for just us in the house (there were 5 of us) and one that was open to more people. We had to pray as a group for an hour a week. We had to volunteer at the church. We had to have 3 meals a week together. And of course we had to attend church every Sunday.
It was my second year in college and I was a biochemistry major at the time, so I was taking physics, organic chemistry, biology, calculus, and a world history class. As can be imagined...I had no outside friends at that point...I didn't have time. By the end of the 1 year commitment, I was so burnt out on the "church" thing. I stopped going...stopped reading my bible....mostly everything. I would pray and seek God on occasion, but it was by no means consistent.
Flash to 3 years ago. I met and married a wonderful man. Not a Christian, but he's such a good man. He nags me more than my mom does about going to church because he knows it was a huge part of my life. He doesn't want to be the reason I don't go. Anyway, I felt the familiar tug on my heart. Hadn't felt it for a while, but I was feeling it then. I started sporadically going to church again.
Then, an amazing thing happened about a year ago. The pastor from my hometown moved to my current town. That was an issue for me...I didn't really know anyone at church so I didn't really feel all that comfortable. But then Pastor Tom moved here. I am sure he changed some of my diapers. He still uses my middle name when he talks to me...it's awesome. I feel at home now. So, I switched my shift at work (I used to work nights...7pm to 7am) so that I could go on Sundays.
I've started reading my Bible again and praying. And not the "now I lay me down to sleep" type of prayer. I mean really praying. That isn't as consistant as I want it yet, but I'm getting there.
Isn't it so wonderful that God is so forgiving? I can remember a time when I was frustrated and I cried out to God..."where are you?"
His response was..."Turn around. I've always been right here."
I am so thankful that I have another chance.
