I was watching a youtuber late at night..and he got into an extreme interesting topic.. He was talking about why the instagram look is so popular and women of substance are falling prey to it. In his video he veered , saying..in this life, were born with qualities that help us out in this life-- that essentially get us from life to death. Some have charisma, others brains, some wealth, and those instagram girls have their beauty. And then, I pondered on that.. That alone..because it was interesting especially as I applied it to those in my life. My mom had her work ethic and perseverance...and my sleazy dad had his charisma...then It was my turn. What did I have?
----------------------------
I kept thinking and kept thinking and nothing came up. Some may think I can draw just because of the fairy in my avatar but I'm not a michealangelo. People pay for art like that , mine not so much..also there are people that can draw a million times better and their on deviant art...and if I was an amazing artist..id be famous by now.but I'm not. I remember in college..listening to some girls in the cafeteria talking about talent...they said if you aren't scouted and recruited by 18 you might as well prepare to flip burgers...and I feel their is some truth to that...because if you have an undeniable talent..youre usually famous in your youth...but some can be late bloomers too.
---------------
What about charisma? I'm about as charismatic as hippopotamus with a cold. I already have social anxiety, and was a loner by nature so that's out. Even though I've gotten much better at socializing and can make people laugh...i never make friends, just acquaintances.
--------------
How about work ethic? Every job I had I failed miserably at... I struggle so hard..and no I dont have a learning disorder...it was just too fast paced for me... And id end up getting paid $70 every 2 weeks while others got paid $400..
So I just wonder...where the h_ell is my saving grace? What will get me through this life? Because I'm just struggling... I'm not smart, my work ethic sucks, my talent is amateur...my aunt destroyed my faith in god..i just dont believe and will never believe he wants the beat for mw ( sorry cant help that) I just feel so unprepared for this world. I just wish I better. Wish I had a better deck of cards dealt to me... I just feel like I have one a shxtty card while others have 3...
Just trying to keep going. I'm very depressed right now.
----------------------------
I kept thinking and kept thinking and nothing came up. Some may think I can draw just because of the fairy in my avatar but I'm not a michealangelo. People pay for art like that , mine not so much..also there are people that can draw a million times better and their on deviant art...and if I was an amazing artist..id be famous by now.but I'm not. I remember in college..listening to some girls in the cafeteria talking about talent...they said if you aren't scouted and recruited by 18 you might as well prepare to flip burgers...and I feel their is some truth to that...because if you have an undeniable talent..youre usually famous in your youth...but some can be late bloomers too.
---------------
What about charisma? I'm about as charismatic as hippopotamus with a cold. I already have social anxiety, and was a loner by nature so that's out. Even though I've gotten much better at socializing and can make people laugh...i never make friends, just acquaintances.
--------------
How about work ethic? Every job I had I failed miserably at... I struggle so hard..and no I dont have a learning disorder...it was just too fast paced for me... And id end up getting paid $70 every 2 weeks while others got paid $400..
So I just wonder...where the h_ell is my saving grace? What will get me through this life? Because I'm just struggling... I'm not smart, my work ethic sucks, my talent is amateur...my aunt destroyed my faith in god..i just dont believe and will never believe he wants the beat for mw ( sorry cant help that) I just feel so unprepared for this world. I just wish I better. Wish I had a better deck of cards dealt to me... I just feel like I have one a shxtty card while others have 3...
Just trying to keep going. I'm very depressed right now.