When my oldest son was seven years old, he came home with a sheet of paper from school to sign up to play soccer. He went on and on about his best friend at the time plays and he wants to play soccer with him. Signups were in about two weeks. For two weeks, all we heard about was soccer. Finally the day came to sign up for soccer, and when we finally got to the field, Zack looked around and saw these kids that were much bigger than he was. My son is very small for his age. In fact, he is the second smallest kid in the class. Seeing those larger kids was all it took. He turned around, mumbled something about I’m not good enough, and went back to the car. I will admit, I was slightly upset that we drove out to the field and did not even give it a try. Now for one reason or another, my son has always had a self confidence issue.
Now fast forward to the year after. Once again, he came home with the same paper and the same excitement, ready to play soccer this year. But this time, I was ready. I immediately started talking about this year becoming a learning process. Then the signup date came in the same thing happened. But this time, I took him aside and had a talk with him. I reinforced to him, the idea , of this year becoming a learning process. I told him if he would just go to three practices and give it a chance, then he could make the decision to keep playing.
The first day of practice finally came. I could see that my son was terrified. He stood on the field just staring at every one practicing. I thought in my head, he will not even make it through the first practice. Then, toward the end of practice, something happened. He started to participate. It was not much, but it was something that I could talk about.
He was very silent after practice. I asked him how he thought he did. His response was, “I did not do very well”. At first, I did not say anything. Then I started to say I was very impressed with him when he was standing on the field in the beginning of practice. I told him that I could see him studying the game. I also told him how impressed I was to see him pick up the game so quickly. That was all I said.
The next practice was very different. It was like some other child jumped into my son’s body. He was all over the field. After this practice, I was very excited. I made sure he saw my excitement. I went on and on about how much of a natural soccer player he was and how proud I was to see him play. The third practice was even better. I was even more excited with him after this practice. Even the coach was amazed when he asked me how many years Zack was playing and I told him, this was the first.
I could have easily told Zack in the first practice that maybe this was not his game. I would imagine that would have been all it took for him to quit. But with a little encouragement, he kept playing. Now, after every practice and game I make sure to make a big deal about his accomplishments and tell him how proud I am to be his father.
In my last post, I’d talked about how words can make or break people. You would be surprised what a affect your words can have even on a complete stranger. This is especially true if you are a parent or in a position of authority. I have seen bosses encourage employees that on the outside did not seem to have the least bit of talent, but with a little encouragement, become star employees. I find that most people do not realize the potential inside them. And all it takes is for someone to encourage them.
Because I have such a drive to help people I seek people out to encourage. Every once in awhile, I will get feedback from a bit of encouragement I gave to someone a long time ago. Most of the time, I will not remember what I said, but the feeling of happiness overwhelms me. Make it a point to encourage people, especially children, every day.
