Continued from Part 1.
A Case Study
Somewhere in mid-2009, I observed a conversation on one of my many internet forums, this one Christian-only in nature. A middle-aged strongly-convicted Christian woman is talking about a situation at her workplace. She explains that her physical position in the office (where she sits) is about to be relocated to a different area, in order to accommodate someone in the new location who requires her assistance. She also mentions that the woman in question is somewhat hard to deal with, perhaps "hateful" isn't too strong a word to use in this situation. As the story continues, she states her clear intentions of the afternoon conversation: She would like us to pray that the move does not happen. She does not want to be relocated to be this person's personal assistant.
Pop quiz: What's wrong with the above scenario?
Humanity has an innate nature to be self-centered, also called "selfish". These two terms are considered negative and unwanted, but in reality they are simply factual pieces of the puzzle that is life. We do tend to think of ourselves first, and that's not necessarily a horrible conundrum. If we don't care for ourselves, we would indeed be useless to the rest of the world anyway. So in that sense, I don't consider it unusual or even wrong that someone would want prayers for the outcome of a particular situation to shift in his or her favor.
The pop-quiz begs to differ though: There is something wrong here. What if that other individual, the hateful woman who needs / wants assistance, should be praying a prayer of her own? What if she's praying that it does happen? What does this mean for the infra-structure of prayer? Does a battle-to-the-death ensue between prayer requests? Shall we go with "Who does God like best"? How about who has prayed the most over his or her life-time? Who sinned more? Who wins? Who gets it? Who's prayer comes out on top?
This exciting battle-royale is insane. There is honestly no "right" answer here, and the only logical conclusion to come out of this situation?
While the concept of prayers for the positive outcomes of self-centered events is normal, it still does not help to make any practical sense of the situation. God doesn't play favorites. Perfection demands fairness. Works do not equal faith (forget about how many kittens your rescued from trees, or your 5 different university degrees -- not helpin' the case any). Praying for your own good fortune becomes a lost point, especially when you consider the horribly unselfish nature of the following: What if this person really, truly needs you to be there for her? Should you not self-sacrifice for that? Or, worse... what if God wants you to be there, even if you don't.
There is a plethora of problems in the pray-for-self-outcome scenario that make it completely unfathomable that this could be the only nature of prayer. If God can't choose sides, how in the world can I?
But still, based on the above scenario, we may choose to pray for this person's situation based on a love, respect, or other human emotion we feel for the individual and/or her situation. This isn't wrong and showing love for our fellow man truly is of God; however, I do believe we must be realistic of the situation at hand. Unrealistic expectations can lead to demoralizing spirits and a loss of faith when expectations are not met.
Conclusions?
I started out the section stating something that remains true after everything I've written: Prayer is complicated, and simple, and personal -- all at the same time. I would never try to boil prayer down to "This is right," and "This is wrong" for everyone. This is more solely my individual train-of-thought on the subject matter.
At the end of the day, prayer is an amazing tool for our personal relationships with our Creator. But we do have to recognize it's limitations.
Prayer points:
For me, prayer boils down to four main points:
The focus of prayer should be God-centered, rather than human-centered (What do you want, what do you have to give me? Rather than here's what I want, here's what I want you to give me). A prayer-like mindset that is out to demand an outcome from God, rather than leave yourself open for His guidance (in whatever way He doles it out to you, and whatever the message may be) in your own personal life and the lives of others, doesn't strike me as productive.
The focus of prayer in most situations should also be centered on knowledge or wisdom or guidance, rather than direct action. If direct action is to occur, it must only be with regard to yourself.
The focus of prayer toward others should be based (in addition to the above) on love and social connection for each other, rather than demands of God.
And finally.. the focus of prayer on a regular daily basis should be talking with God, on a regular basis, to maintain communication which is of central importance to any relationship, including one with God.
Inspirations
I know I've said a lot of negative ideas, "This is what prayer is not" line of thinking -- So, to even up the playing field, I wanted to take a look at a bit of scripture for inspiration purposes.
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer,believe that you will receive it, and it will be yours. [Mark 11:22, 24]
I do like this quote very much, but I detest it's literal reference by most people. We know one thing for a fact: If we wish for a million dollars, and we believe that we will receive a million dollars... we still won't receive a million dollars. But, it gives us something to think about. When many of us pray, it's natural to "have doubts" about what we're asking. The cynical nature of the human species, even in an unconscious manner, is natural.
But in many ways, self-affirmation is a psychological marvel. Believing in what you are asking for is powerful. Re-affirming many things to yourself is considered empowering on even a secular-psychology level. In this manner, secular-psychology actually mimics religion quite well: If you don't believe you can change your mental state, you probably never will. If you believe you will fail, you may coax yourself toward the very failure you wish to avoid.
It seems that it goes the same, if not more-so, for spirituality. It is a lot harder for human beings to believe what they cannot see. This makes an easy comparison between mental-health struggles (something to which I am no stranger) and spirituality struggles.
----
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." [Jeremiah 29:11-12]
A pretty basic concern for most people: Does God even hear my prayers?
God listens. Why wouldn't He? Why create all that He has, and then proceed to turn a deaf ear? Logic and religion aren't mutually exclusive. They can actually be mutually-enriching.
----
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. [Psalm 118:8]
Humanity is imperfect. God is not. I suppose it doesn't make logical sense not to pray, if you think about it. It doesn't make sense to have faith in Divinity and yet leave your entire life in the hands of the physical realm alone. When it's all said and done, man can't help me. Not with some of the most personal or the most difficult situations that exist, at least.
----
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. [Romans 12:12]
Prayer is often likened to something through which a person should take great pride and joy. Many people failing in having a prayer life, often are approaching the situation as more of a chore. It's the wrong angle. Change your mind-set and your outlook: find joy in the Lord on a regular basis.
----
And pray that we may be delivered from the wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith. But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. [2 Thessalonians 3:2-3]
Strength and protection. Self-fortification. If you go to a construction site, you put on a hardhat. Forget the "evil one" reference as some literal devil-dag, and instead realize that taking God with us throughout every-day situations is protection against all kinds of negativity of our own words, thoughts actions, feelings, etc.
I try not to think so much in terms of others (protected "from" others), because other people will be who they are and that may include some negativity tossed your way. I don't think God is out to intercept that toss, but instead you can at least be prepared for it and understand how to deal with it on a mental/emotional/even physical level.
----
But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit. [Jude 20]
Building spirituality and faith is centered on God. Communication with God involves prayer. Anyone on a spiritual journey is best not to leave it out.
----
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. [Matthew 26:41]
Some people cite this passage strictly as cautioning us against sin and temptation. I see it as a pro-active statement about prayer:
Pray-on-the-fly. It is important to keep our eyes open to the world around us, in all situations, through everything we do. Watch everything around us, and keep the lines of communication (prayer) to God wide open. Pray-on-the-fly. This was a concern of many people in trying to consier the "when and where" of prayer.
When? Any time. Always.
Where? Everywhere!
----
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. [Matthew 6:6]
See, now I don't feel so bad. I feel the need to keep prayer on a very private level in most cases (even if it's just within the "rooms" of my own head). I'm not a big fan of giving a public show about it ... not in the real world, not on the internet, not anywhere. It's something personal between only two avenues: Myself, and God; and I'm not expecting some cosmic reward akin to a lottery return for prayer mind you, but we all stand to gain much by bringing God directly into our personal lives.
At any rate, relationships of all kind (intimate, friendship, family, etc.) require proper personal upkeep from both sides. It is our responsibility to maintain the two-way communication: God does His part. All that's left, is us.
A Case Study
Somewhere in mid-2009, I observed a conversation on one of my many internet forums, this one Christian-only in nature. A middle-aged strongly-convicted Christian woman is talking about a situation at her workplace. She explains that her physical position in the office (where she sits) is about to be relocated to a different area, in order to accommodate someone in the new location who requires her assistance. She also mentions that the woman in question is somewhat hard to deal with, perhaps "hateful" isn't too strong a word to use in this situation. As the story continues, she states her clear intentions of the afternoon conversation: She would like us to pray that the move does not happen. She does not want to be relocated to be this person's personal assistant.
Pop quiz: What's wrong with the above scenario?
Humanity has an innate nature to be self-centered, also called "selfish". These two terms are considered negative and unwanted, but in reality they are simply factual pieces of the puzzle that is life. We do tend to think of ourselves first, and that's not necessarily a horrible conundrum. If we don't care for ourselves, we would indeed be useless to the rest of the world anyway. So in that sense, I don't consider it unusual or even wrong that someone would want prayers for the outcome of a particular situation to shift in his or her favor.
The pop-quiz begs to differ though: There is something wrong here. What if that other individual, the hateful woman who needs / wants assistance, should be praying a prayer of her own? What if she's praying that it does happen? What does this mean for the infra-structure of prayer? Does a battle-to-the-death ensue between prayer requests? Shall we go with "Who does God like best"? How about who has prayed the most over his or her life-time? Who sinned more? Who wins? Who gets it? Who's prayer comes out on top?
This exciting battle-royale is insane. There is honestly no "right" answer here, and the only logical conclusion to come out of this situation?
While the concept of prayers for the positive outcomes of self-centered events is normal, it still does not help to make any practical sense of the situation. God doesn't play favorites. Perfection demands fairness. Works do not equal faith (forget about how many kittens your rescued from trees, or your 5 different university degrees -- not helpin' the case any). Praying for your own good fortune becomes a lost point, especially when you consider the horribly unselfish nature of the following: What if this person really, truly needs you to be there for her? Should you not self-sacrifice for that? Or, worse... what if God wants you to be there, even if you don't.
There is a plethora of problems in the pray-for-self-outcome scenario that make it completely unfathomable that this could be the only nature of prayer. If God can't choose sides, how in the world can I?
But still, based on the above scenario, we may choose to pray for this person's situation based on a love, respect, or other human emotion we feel for the individual and/or her situation. This isn't wrong and showing love for our fellow man truly is of God; however, I do believe we must be realistic of the situation at hand. Unrealistic expectations can lead to demoralizing spirits and a loss of faith when expectations are not met.
Conclusions?
I started out the section stating something that remains true after everything I've written: Prayer is complicated, and simple, and personal -- all at the same time. I would never try to boil prayer down to "This is right," and "This is wrong" for everyone. This is more solely my individual train-of-thought on the subject matter.
At the end of the day, prayer is an amazing tool for our personal relationships with our Creator. But we do have to recognize it's limitations.
Prayer points:
For me, prayer boils down to four main points:
The focus of prayer should be God-centered, rather than human-centered (What do you want, what do you have to give me? Rather than here's what I want, here's what I want you to give me). A prayer-like mindset that is out to demand an outcome from God, rather than leave yourself open for His guidance (in whatever way He doles it out to you, and whatever the message may be) in your own personal life and the lives of others, doesn't strike me as productive.
The focus of prayer in most situations should also be centered on knowledge or wisdom or guidance, rather than direct action. If direct action is to occur, it must only be with regard to yourself.
The focus of prayer toward others should be based (in addition to the above) on love and social connection for each other, rather than demands of God.
And finally.. the focus of prayer on a regular daily basis should be talking with God, on a regular basis, to maintain communication which is of central importance to any relationship, including one with God.
Inspirations
I know I've said a lot of negative ideas, "This is what prayer is not" line of thinking -- So, to even up the playing field, I wanted to take a look at a bit of scripture for inspiration purposes.
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer,believe that you will receive it, and it will be yours. [Mark 11:22, 24]
I do like this quote very much, but I detest it's literal reference by most people. We know one thing for a fact: If we wish for a million dollars, and we believe that we will receive a million dollars... we still won't receive a million dollars. But, it gives us something to think about. When many of us pray, it's natural to "have doubts" about what we're asking. The cynical nature of the human species, even in an unconscious manner, is natural.
But in many ways, self-affirmation is a psychological marvel. Believing in what you are asking for is powerful. Re-affirming many things to yourself is considered empowering on even a secular-psychology level. In this manner, secular-psychology actually mimics religion quite well: If you don't believe you can change your mental state, you probably never will. If you believe you will fail, you may coax yourself toward the very failure you wish to avoid.
It seems that it goes the same, if not more-so, for spirituality. It is a lot harder for human beings to believe what they cannot see. This makes an easy comparison between mental-health struggles (something to which I am no stranger) and spirituality struggles.
----
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." [Jeremiah 29:11-12]
A pretty basic concern for most people: Does God even hear my prayers?
God listens. Why wouldn't He? Why create all that He has, and then proceed to turn a deaf ear? Logic and religion aren't mutually exclusive. They can actually be mutually-enriching.
----
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. [Psalm 118:8]
Humanity is imperfect. God is not. I suppose it doesn't make logical sense not to pray, if you think about it. It doesn't make sense to have faith in Divinity and yet leave your entire life in the hands of the physical realm alone. When it's all said and done, man can't help me. Not with some of the most personal or the most difficult situations that exist, at least.
----
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. [Romans 12:12]
Prayer is often likened to something through which a person should take great pride and joy. Many people failing in having a prayer life, often are approaching the situation as more of a chore. It's the wrong angle. Change your mind-set and your outlook: find joy in the Lord on a regular basis.
----
And pray that we may be delivered from the wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith. But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. [2 Thessalonians 3:2-3]
Strength and protection. Self-fortification. If you go to a construction site, you put on a hardhat. Forget the "evil one" reference as some literal devil-dag, and instead realize that taking God with us throughout every-day situations is protection against all kinds of negativity of our own words, thoughts actions, feelings, etc.
I try not to think so much in terms of others (protected "from" others), because other people will be who they are and that may include some negativity tossed your way. I don't think God is out to intercept that toss, but instead you can at least be prepared for it and understand how to deal with it on a mental/emotional/even physical level.
----
But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit. [Jude 20]
Building spirituality and faith is centered on God. Communication with God involves prayer. Anyone on a spiritual journey is best not to leave it out.
----
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. [Matthew 26:41]
Some people cite this passage strictly as cautioning us against sin and temptation. I see it as a pro-active statement about prayer:
Pray-on-the-fly. It is important to keep our eyes open to the world around us, in all situations, through everything we do. Watch everything around us, and keep the lines of communication (prayer) to God wide open. Pray-on-the-fly. This was a concern of many people in trying to consier the "when and where" of prayer.
When? Any time. Always.
Where? Everywhere!
----
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. [Matthew 6:6]
See, now I don't feel so bad. I feel the need to keep prayer on a very private level in most cases (even if it's just within the "rooms" of my own head). I'm not a big fan of giving a public show about it ... not in the real world, not on the internet, not anywhere. It's something personal between only two avenues: Myself, and God; and I'm not expecting some cosmic reward akin to a lottery return for prayer mind you, but we all stand to gain much by bringing God directly into our personal lives.
At any rate, relationships of all kind (intimate, friendship, family, etc.) require proper personal upkeep from both sides. It is our responsibility to maintain the two-way communication: God does His part. All that's left, is us.
