I hurt my back this weekend and have been in quite a bit of pain. I've had lots of time to think while laying flat, knees bent, icepack under me and laptop propped up on my knees and this is a product of all that thinking...my first blog 
My physical pain has brought to mind some things about emotional pain...my own and others.
It's easy to see when someone is in physical pain. For instance, I can't hide my physical pain right now. I bend a certain way and the pain grips my back and my face automatically reflects what is going on inside my body. I couldn't hide it very well if I tried. I could probably mask it quickly but I couldn't totally hide it.
I think it's harder to see when someone is in emotional pain. I think people can put on their mask in private and keep it on no matter what happens in public. I think that eventually emotional pain does surface. We see the pain coming out thru their actions such as anger, bitterness, resentment, isolation, etc but the source of those actions is still pain.
I think that people are quick to give sympathy when they see someone in physical pain. It's something that they can do something about. They can offer to get them a drink of water or to carry their packages for them or to bring them dinner, etc. There is something that they can do to help the person in physical pain. It may not alleviate the pain but they can help and physical pain is something they can understand because they can see it right there in front of them.
I think that people aren't so quick to give sympathy when they see someone in emotional pain. The first they notice it may be because of a reaction the person is displaying rather than the pain itself. People in emotional pain are like wounded animals - they lash out. I think that is hard to understand and hard to deal with. I also think people don't know what to do when someone is in emotional pain. The help they offer is to tell the person to change...to buck up...to get over it...to move on...those are all fine suggestions but may not be what the person needs.
I think that physical pain, for the most part, heals in a timely fashion. I think that people see an end in sight. People meaning, the person in pain and the people offering help.
I think that emotional pain lasts a lot longer and people lose patience. They can't as easily relate to emotional pain as they can to physical pain. Especially if it's not an emotion that they themselves struggle with. Most of us have had some sort of physical pain, a broken arm, a sprained ankle, a burned hand, something that we can relate to another persons physical pain.
It has been my observation that the same is not always necessarily true when it comes to emotional pain. I think it is easier to dismiss and deny that it is there if we ourselves have not experienced the same type of pain that the person is going thru.
I think that it is harder for us to put ourselves in the shoes of someone suffering emotional pain than in the shoes of someone suffering physical pain.
Now don't get me wrong, I think that there are people who are very compassionate...who can easily relate to someone in emotional pain even if they haven't experienced something similar themselves...I think that offering advice and counsel can be a good thing...I think that there is a time to say "you are stuck" and offer them a hand up...but I think there are times we want healing for emotional pain to come more quickly than it should or than the person in pain is ready for or than the Lord is planning.
I think it is so important not to criticize a person in emotional pain or dismiss their feelings or offer solutions that are what you would do...but rather try our best to understand what they need. Heaping condemnation on someone is not going to help - it will only cause them more pain.
I was reading something today that spoke to this...
Perhaps we need to try harder to understand someone's emotional pain and stand beside them as they go thru it and remind ourselves that God does not want them to hide their pain. That He understands it and that He acknowledges that pain is real and that in His timing - they will be healed.
Lord, I pray that you open my eyes to others emotional pain. I pray that you give me the words of comfort to speak to them. I pray that you soften my heart towards them. I pray that you let me see their pain rather than their lashing out. I pray that you remind me when I'm losing patience that it is in Your timing they are healed - not in mine. I thank you for the healing that you are doing in my own heart and for the divine purpose that have set for me and for my life. Teach me Lord and use me Lord and change my heart.
My physical pain has brought to mind some things about emotional pain...my own and others.
It's easy to see when someone is in physical pain. For instance, I can't hide my physical pain right now. I bend a certain way and the pain grips my back and my face automatically reflects what is going on inside my body. I couldn't hide it very well if I tried. I could probably mask it quickly but I couldn't totally hide it.
I think it's harder to see when someone is in emotional pain. I think people can put on their mask in private and keep it on no matter what happens in public. I think that eventually emotional pain does surface. We see the pain coming out thru their actions such as anger, bitterness, resentment, isolation, etc but the source of those actions is still pain.
I think that people are quick to give sympathy when they see someone in physical pain. It's something that they can do something about. They can offer to get them a drink of water or to carry their packages for them or to bring them dinner, etc. There is something that they can do to help the person in physical pain. It may not alleviate the pain but they can help and physical pain is something they can understand because they can see it right there in front of them.
I think that people aren't so quick to give sympathy when they see someone in emotional pain. The first they notice it may be because of a reaction the person is displaying rather than the pain itself. People in emotional pain are like wounded animals - they lash out. I think that is hard to understand and hard to deal with. I also think people don't know what to do when someone is in emotional pain. The help they offer is to tell the person to change...to buck up...to get over it...to move on...those are all fine suggestions but may not be what the person needs.
I think that physical pain, for the most part, heals in a timely fashion. I think that people see an end in sight. People meaning, the person in pain and the people offering help.
I think that emotional pain lasts a lot longer and people lose patience. They can't as easily relate to emotional pain as they can to physical pain. Especially if it's not an emotion that they themselves struggle with. Most of us have had some sort of physical pain, a broken arm, a sprained ankle, a burned hand, something that we can relate to another persons physical pain.
It has been my observation that the same is not always necessarily true when it comes to emotional pain. I think it is easier to dismiss and deny that it is there if we ourselves have not experienced the same type of pain that the person is going thru.
I think that it is harder for us to put ourselves in the shoes of someone suffering emotional pain than in the shoes of someone suffering physical pain.
Now don't get me wrong, I think that there are people who are very compassionate...who can easily relate to someone in emotional pain even if they haven't experienced something similar themselves...I think that offering advice and counsel can be a good thing...I think that there is a time to say "you are stuck" and offer them a hand up...but I think there are times we want healing for emotional pain to come more quickly than it should or than the person in pain is ready for or than the Lord is planning.
I think it is so important not to criticize a person in emotional pain or dismiss their feelings or offer solutions that are what you would do...but rather try our best to understand what they need. Heaping condemnation on someone is not going to help - it will only cause them more pain.
I was reading something today that spoke to this...
There is no time table on God's healing! There is no limit on His patience with us! There is no amount of emotional pain that is to much for him! There is no pain that we feel that He has not felt! He understands! He sympathizes! He heals!
Perhaps we need to try harder to understand someone's emotional pain and stand beside them as they go thru it and remind ourselves that God does not want them to hide their pain. That He understands it and that He acknowledges that pain is real and that in His timing - they will be healed.
Lord, I pray that you open my eyes to others emotional pain. I pray that you give me the words of comfort to speak to them. I pray that you soften my heart towards them. I pray that you let me see their pain rather than their lashing out. I pray that you remind me when I'm losing patience that it is in Your timing they are healed - not in mine. I thank you for the healing that you are doing in my own heart and for the divine purpose that have set for me and for my life. Teach me Lord and use me Lord and change my heart.
-Amen
