As I slowly walk away from everything, its one more day. The joy in my heart is rendered. I am learning... Learning is a journey to trust God. work with God. Its all God. There is nothing else, there never was anything else. At one time others were willing to be with me and with God. Now the world is eating itself and has no interest or time for God. The world has become its own God, and I am in it; I am not of it.
Im learning to purge myself of the world. First, I have to take things to God that I may clear up damage I have made with my brother. As my brother has something against me! Yet, he holds me in check, as hostage. I have to talk to God and plead my case to him. My brother has something against me and I am not able to reach him. I have been manipulated and his suffering is being used against me! I am being made the laughing stock and the victim.
I have abandon my brother; just as Peter abandon Jesus.. It hurts so much, there is no way to describe the hurt.. Im sorry God. Im sorry! forgive me. Forgive my un forgiveness to hurt your people. Forgive me for punishing innocent people that did nothing wrong to me. I am feeling very guilty...
Help my narcissism God, I think others will die with out me. I so important!... Help me to be free of the mirror I grote in all day to look at myself and kiss myself because Im in love with myself more then with you...
My feelings go to me instead to the sick, the poor and the dying. My feelings go do me when others depend on me in time of trouble. I find it very hard to be a human being. its all very hard. Im afraid to be myself. Im afraid to be real. Im afraid to believe. Help my unbelief God... Please help me with the bondage of chains. Help me to be free of this bondage of chains...
Peace is for the wicked... I carry a sward, and I carry God in a nap sack..
Im learning to purge myself of the world. First, I have to take things to God that I may clear up damage I have made with my brother. As my brother has something against me! Yet, he holds me in check, as hostage. I have to talk to God and plead my case to him. My brother has something against me and I am not able to reach him. I have been manipulated and his suffering is being used against me! I am being made the laughing stock and the victim.
I have abandon my brother; just as Peter abandon Jesus.. It hurts so much, there is no way to describe the hurt.. Im sorry God. Im sorry! forgive me. Forgive my un forgiveness to hurt your people. Forgive me for punishing innocent people that did nothing wrong to me. I am feeling very guilty...
Help my narcissism God, I think others will die with out me. I so important!... Help me to be free of the mirror I grote in all day to look at myself and kiss myself because Im in love with myself more then with you...
My feelings go to me instead to the sick, the poor and the dying. My feelings go do me when others depend on me in time of trouble. I find it very hard to be a human being. its all very hard. Im afraid to be myself. Im afraid to be real. Im afraid to believe. Help my unbelief God... Please help me with the bondage of chains. Help me to be free of this bondage of chains...
Peace is for the wicked... I carry a sward, and I carry God in a nap sack..
