Part of it might be because I'm sick, the other part might because of something else that never seems to leave my mind.
I feel so tired of feeling this way...I don't know what to do.
I keep putting myself down and i'm getting so low, I don't think I'll be able to pull myself back up.
I know this is strange to think and probably not true, but sometimes I feel like nobody cares about me...and I mean truely cares. Sometimes I feel like I'm never good enough fo anyone.
I know we all have are struggles and this is one of mine. I always feel like I'm being watched. And that everything I do, just wont do. I feel like I need to be at least a little perfect in order to be looked at differently-for people to treat me differently. Every since I was little I noticed that everything I did was never good enough...people were always better then me at the things I did. One of these people happen to be my sister. For some reason she is good at everything. She is perfect to me. She's prettier, she's smarter...everything I did she would do way better! And I can't help but to be a little jealous. Can you imagine having a sibling having pretty much everything you've ever wanted? Now don't get me wrong. I know sh'es not perfect...she does have flaws...but sometimes I'm blinded by me jealousy and I can't see that.
I'm just having a really down day today. I know God loves me for who I am...I just wish I could see that right now. I wish that whenever I'm faced with things that will get me down, that I'd just ignore them and walk away. I wish they didn't bother me. I wish I could see that I don't have to be good enough for people, that I'd only worry about being good enough for God...I shouldn't want to please people...but see, most of this isn't because of that. I just wan't to believe in myself again.
I feel so tired of feeling this way...I don't know what to do.
I keep putting myself down and i'm getting so low, I don't think I'll be able to pull myself back up.
I know this is strange to think and probably not true, but sometimes I feel like nobody cares about me...and I mean truely cares. Sometimes I feel like I'm never good enough fo anyone.
I know we all have are struggles and this is one of mine. I always feel like I'm being watched. And that everything I do, just wont do. I feel like I need to be at least a little perfect in order to be looked at differently-for people to treat me differently. Every since I was little I noticed that everything I did was never good enough...people were always better then me at the things I did. One of these people happen to be my sister. For some reason she is good at everything. She is perfect to me. She's prettier, she's smarter...everything I did she would do way better! And I can't help but to be a little jealous. Can you imagine having a sibling having pretty much everything you've ever wanted? Now don't get me wrong. I know sh'es not perfect...she does have flaws...but sometimes I'm blinded by me jealousy and I can't see that.
I'm just having a really down day today. I know God loves me for who I am...I just wish I could see that right now. I wish that whenever I'm faced with things that will get me down, that I'd just ignore them and walk away. I wish they didn't bother me. I wish I could see that I don't have to be good enough for people, that I'd only worry about being good enough for God...I shouldn't want to please people...but see, most of this isn't because of that. I just wan't to believe in myself again.
