My relationship with God could get better. I need it to get better. It need a better relationship with God. A deeper, better trust. Im to scared around people, and I feel nervous around people and less then. I feel like I have nothing to offer other people. I feel people are not safe, and I can do no more then surface.
I feel like no one wants what I have; No one sees my worth or wants it; has no appreciation for it.
Im not sure if I live in a dream world or I am to expect people to concentrate on more then survival.
Im not sure if Im immature or to mature..
I need God with me to feel good. I do not need to depend on the world around me for my happiness, and for this to happen; will be a major undertaking.
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At the meetings when I go alone, I do not feel comfortable. I feel like Im around my enemies that have taken advantage of me! Im not around my friends.
I stare at some people, then stop. Im not trying to cause trouble. Some people are so important I do not have the right to look in there direction. So, Im not around the nicest people.
Im have to trust God and really think about the right people to associate with. Where are the right people.
Im such a sensitive victim. and I have to remember to move on.
Many girls in the meetings hook up with guys, then spend time flirting with everyone else. I do not want them using me; I do not like it! it makes me sick, these are not my kind of people, but I do not like being alone and I have no other place to go!
It all feels like isolation. Im trying to do all of this alone with a few meetings and online blogs and communities.
At some point a plan would be a good thing.
social skills are ripped apart from Dissociative Disorder. Its hard to be around people with out a close friend with me so Im not alone. I need a close nit family with me.
The last family systems I had; when young! all was destroyed and betrayed. I meant nothing to anyone. It was a joke,. I was a joke to all. I was not noticed. I thought I had value to people, I had no value to people!
I will start talking to God about it; possibly time to start researching how to make friends and influence people. Keep preying. not sure.
I feel like no one wants what I have; No one sees my worth or wants it; has no appreciation for it.
Im not sure if I live in a dream world or I am to expect people to concentrate on more then survival.
Im not sure if Im immature or to mature..
I need God with me to feel good. I do not need to depend on the world around me for my happiness, and for this to happen; will be a major undertaking.
------
At the meetings when I go alone, I do not feel comfortable. I feel like Im around my enemies that have taken advantage of me! Im not around my friends.
I stare at some people, then stop. Im not trying to cause trouble. Some people are so important I do not have the right to look in there direction. So, Im not around the nicest people.
Im have to trust God and really think about the right people to associate with. Where are the right people.
Im such a sensitive victim. and I have to remember to move on.
Many girls in the meetings hook up with guys, then spend time flirting with everyone else. I do not want them using me; I do not like it! it makes me sick, these are not my kind of people, but I do not like being alone and I have no other place to go!
It all feels like isolation. Im trying to do all of this alone with a few meetings and online blogs and communities.
At some point a plan would be a good thing.
social skills are ripped apart from Dissociative Disorder. Its hard to be around people with out a close friend with me so Im not alone. I need a close nit family with me.
The last family systems I had; when young! all was destroyed and betrayed. I meant nothing to anyone. It was a joke,. I was a joke to all. I was not noticed. I thought I had value to people, I had no value to people!
I will start talking to God about it; possibly time to start researching how to make friends and influence people. Keep preying. not sure.
