Tonight I have been thinking about so many things of the past and thinking about what I have done in the past 4 yrs to rebuild my life with 3 of my 5 children. I hope to see my other 2 children someday I can only pray that their parents will tell them there are adopted and that it was done out of concern for their well being not that I didnt want them. I have been thinking alot about the marriage that failed for many reasons. I think about everytime that I see my soon to be ex husband I remember the abuse and that he has yet to own up to it and I had to make a decsion today about not atking the kids to his families for Easter because they want nothing to do with me and as I am the only one who disciplines the kids and watches them and doesnt ignore them unlike him which is why the state of Utah child and family services decided that I get permanent physical and legal custody. I let the kid svisit him as much as they want within reason. I have a funeral to got to this coming tuesday, my parents are pushing me away. My family doesnt want to accept that 2 of my 3 boys are disabled. They just want to blow it off as undisciplined rowdy boys. I have a boyfriend that is starting to aggrivate me with his habits and his attitude. I care that he has alot going on but that is no reason to be a butt to me, I have tons going on too and treat him with the respect he is due. OK I think I covered my vent for the evening
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