A few days ago, my boyfriend of almost 7 months confessed to me that within the last 10 years: he slept with prostitutes, watched porn while dating me, cheated on his first girlfriend, and slept with his ex-girlfriend a month before meeting me. He claims to be a Christian man, but these confessions show otherwise. He made this confession because he felt a conviction from the Holy Spirit (so he claims). Not only that, but as early, or as stupid as this might sound, I thought this man was a God sent Christian man whom I would marry. Just last week, we had gone to our church's administration office to inquire about getting married. Now, his confessions have changed my feelings towards him and his image. I feel completely appalled and disgusted by his confessions. To add insult to injury, he is also a liar because he lied to me about his sexual past.
I almost broke up with him in the beginning of the relationship because when I inquired about his sexual purity, he revealed to me that he wasn't a virgin. I was devastated. Call me naive for believing that a 30 year old man can be a virgin. This revelation was devastating to me because of the holier than holy image that he portrayed. Who he appeared to be with how he conducted himself in previous relationships was/is contradictory. When I asked him in the beginning of our relationship when the last time was when he had sex, he stated that his last relationship was a year ago. He implied that he had sex a year ago. HE LIED. He BS’ed me into believing that he had been sexually inactive for a year.
Nothing added up. First of all, I couldn’t understand why a so-called Christian man was still sexually active if he claimed to love the Lord as much as he did. Not only that, he confessed that he had sex with his ex-girlfriend a month before meeting me.
When I asked him why he did it, he claimed that he was depressed in his late teens and that he always felt insecure about himself. He felt unattractive. I tried to be understanding, however, he still solicited prostitutes when he supposedly overcame his depression. His sinful nature eventually caused him to develop a sexual addiction. I asked him if he tested himself for STDs and he said that he periodically tested himself and results were clean. I do believe him because he got a physical a few months ago and he tested himself for STDs and he showed me that the results were clean. This physical did draw suspicions, but this is another story for a different day.
Like I said, I am greatly disgusted by his actions. His actions have caused me to distrust him and have even altered my feelings towards him. I currently don’t know what I feel towards him. I tried breaking up with him yesterday because I don’t know if I can move passed these confessions, and he just cried and claimed to love me. He doesn’t want to lose me. Part of me doesn’t want to walk away because I feel great concerned for him. I feel like I can be the one person that can help him. I told him that he had to seek counseling within the church and that he had to confess his sins to the Brothers at church.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so torn. I don’t know if I can continue my relationship with him. Part of me wants to stay only to help him with his addiction. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
- BeautyforAshes
I almost broke up with him in the beginning of the relationship because when I inquired about his sexual purity, he revealed to me that he wasn't a virgin. I was devastated. Call me naive for believing that a 30 year old man can be a virgin. This revelation was devastating to me because of the holier than holy image that he portrayed. Who he appeared to be with how he conducted himself in previous relationships was/is contradictory. When I asked him in the beginning of our relationship when the last time was when he had sex, he stated that his last relationship was a year ago. He implied that he had sex a year ago. HE LIED. He BS’ed me into believing that he had been sexually inactive for a year.
Nothing added up. First of all, I couldn’t understand why a so-called Christian man was still sexually active if he claimed to love the Lord as much as he did. Not only that, he confessed that he had sex with his ex-girlfriend a month before meeting me.
When I asked him why he did it, he claimed that he was depressed in his late teens and that he always felt insecure about himself. He felt unattractive. I tried to be understanding, however, he still solicited prostitutes when he supposedly overcame his depression. His sinful nature eventually caused him to develop a sexual addiction. I asked him if he tested himself for STDs and he said that he periodically tested himself and results were clean. I do believe him because he got a physical a few months ago and he tested himself for STDs and he showed me that the results were clean. This physical did draw suspicions, but this is another story for a different day.
Like I said, I am greatly disgusted by his actions. His actions have caused me to distrust him and have even altered my feelings towards him. I currently don’t know what I feel towards him. I tried breaking up with him yesterday because I don’t know if I can move passed these confessions, and he just cried and claimed to love me. He doesn’t want to lose me. Part of me doesn’t want to walk away because I feel great concerned for him. I feel like I can be the one person that can help him. I told him that he had to seek counseling within the church and that he had to confess his sins to the Brothers at church.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so torn. I don’t know if I can continue my relationship with him. Part of me wants to stay only to help him with his addiction. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
- BeautyforAshes