2 yrs ago, God called my best friend, my husband of 30 yrs home very suddenly. AML leukemia. My sadness is very deep but I can see progress regularly. I am blessed with good friends, a great bible study group and caring neighbors.
I get very lonely. Also I miss the nice 4x4 truck I used to have to get out into the mountains-way out in the mountains. It's such a spiritual thing.
After spending the 1st winter pretty much isolated, I went on Craig's list and met what I thought was a nice fellow for plutonic friendship. He liked history and genealogy, panning for gold and we seemed to have alot in common. This fellow knew that this was my 1st meeting with anyone since my loss. We met at a restaurant and had a great time-good conversation. Until he spoke of some very intimate details that he was seeking in a relationship!!! I felt like a deer in head lights! I blocked his email and never spoke with him again. This was not the time in my life to yet look at those things; I needed baby steps.
Very recently, I took in a male house share sort of room mate. The rent was low but he was to help with some things around the house. I interviewed him in a public place. My friend and pastor interviewed him also. About three weeks after he moved in, the only thing I could conclude is that he is bipolar and not on med. Things were so bad my girlfriends took turns staying here until I could evict him. It has been tramatic and costly.
So now I am searching for a female house mate with lots of references from church, neighbors, etc as I need the financial help in order to stay in my home.
I'm sure that God has me going thru these things for a reason. I believe it is a lesson in trust. I have tried hard to trust only the Lord to bring me thru this. I give my trust and sorrow to the Lord and take it back a dozen times a day.
I have a book called the Season of Grief that has been an immense help. So has prayer.
I get very lonely. Also I miss the nice 4x4 truck I used to have to get out into the mountains-way out in the mountains. It's such a spiritual thing.
After spending the 1st winter pretty much isolated, I went on Craig's list and met what I thought was a nice fellow for plutonic friendship. He liked history and genealogy, panning for gold and we seemed to have alot in common. This fellow knew that this was my 1st meeting with anyone since my loss. We met at a restaurant and had a great time-good conversation. Until he spoke of some very intimate details that he was seeking in a relationship!!! I felt like a deer in head lights! I blocked his email and never spoke with him again. This was not the time in my life to yet look at those things; I needed baby steps.
Very recently, I took in a male house share sort of room mate. The rent was low but he was to help with some things around the house. I interviewed him in a public place. My friend and pastor interviewed him also. About three weeks after he moved in, the only thing I could conclude is that he is bipolar and not on med. Things were so bad my girlfriends took turns staying here until I could evict him. It has been tramatic and costly.
So now I am searching for a female house mate with lots of references from church, neighbors, etc as I need the financial help in order to stay in my home.
I'm sure that God has me going thru these things for a reason. I believe it is a lesson in trust. I have tried hard to trust only the Lord to bring me thru this. I give my trust and sorrow to the Lord and take it back a dozen times a day.
I have a book called the Season of Grief that has been an immense help. So has prayer.
