I have to leave my church now. God allowed me time at this present church to heal and learn many things and to regain many things, now it is time for me to leave. I am sorrowful for this, as God was in this church and I must leave that sanctuary that he resides in. It feels like abandonment. I have stayed extra long considering the circumstances. the people at the church have aloud this. Now God is closing there eyes I guess... Anyway, its time to leave.... Slowly...
For those who read this blog. Please pray for a beautiful little blond girl 2 to 3 years old. She is being tortured through neglect. I have witnessed this subtle betrayal. I feel she is dying. Its a spiritual, emotional, psychological death. I can see the exhaustion in her body, eyes and mind; the fatigue. She is giving up. She is not receiving the love she deserves and is becoming dissociative. Please pray for her and pray for me; please. I did not have the ability to approach her or her family to help, As I am wounded myself and can only go to God at the present. Please pray for her. It is not fair that a child die that people in my country live as they wish. I am the worst of weaklings and cowards, I am so lowly, how could I have ever gotten out my front door. I pray to be the king who saves the poor, all I end up doing is hiding behind the door. Its so hard to watch someone so sweet and innocent surcomb to the banishment of this life under no fault of her own.
I feel like such a coward. I have to have a better relationship with God. A deeper one. I wake up from my own dissociative state, not completely, yet enough to have this world rush in on me at all ends. Seems most are interested in only one thing. " themselves".
I forgive all people and pray they have everything I could ever want in my life. I have to learn to forgive or I will die as everyone else dies... I must remember that hardship has not ended... what a life this is. Unbelievable. A tormented exhaustion.
I will pray for Gods will.
For those who read this blog. Please pray for a beautiful little blond girl 2 to 3 years old. She is being tortured through neglect. I have witnessed this subtle betrayal. I feel she is dying. Its a spiritual, emotional, psychological death. I can see the exhaustion in her body, eyes and mind; the fatigue. She is giving up. She is not receiving the love she deserves and is becoming dissociative. Please pray for her and pray for me; please. I did not have the ability to approach her or her family to help, As I am wounded myself and can only go to God at the present. Please pray for her. It is not fair that a child die that people in my country live as they wish. I am the worst of weaklings and cowards, I am so lowly, how could I have ever gotten out my front door. I pray to be the king who saves the poor, all I end up doing is hiding behind the door. Its so hard to watch someone so sweet and innocent surcomb to the banishment of this life under no fault of her own.
I feel like such a coward. I have to have a better relationship with God. A deeper one. I wake up from my own dissociative state, not completely, yet enough to have this world rush in on me at all ends. Seems most are interested in only one thing. " themselves".
I forgive all people and pray they have everything I could ever want in my life. I have to learn to forgive or I will die as everyone else dies... I must remember that hardship has not ended... what a life this is. Unbelievable. A tormented exhaustion.
I will pray for Gods will.
