I don't hate anyone.. Im shocked at the treatment I receive from people. They continually go for the throat of the soul. Some people think my soul is a trophy to be trampled,. killed, and put on there wall as an ornament. Im naive.
The bible talks of those in the light being taken advantage of by those in the darkness. Im mislead very easily. I think someone is on my side because they give me attention, they talk like me. Then I realize after its to late that I was trampled. The enemy Got me again; that is what I realize.
The enemy got me again. I never saw it coming. Satan is very close... He doesn't like me, he never has, Ive always been to close to God for his comfort... He uses those in his majesties service to pretend to be my acquaintance... then, when Im in to deep, he unleashes the fire upon my inner-self.. ripping up flesh, burning the membrane of my existence. Yet, Im not to die. He is sending me a message... He wants me to know that Im playing in his backyard, and the objects I am playing with are his.. They belong to him, and by there choice, he belongs to them.
I am in the wrong yard at the wrong time and never know it. I think I can play in anyones backyard. I get ripped up. However, lessons are learned. New tools for the tool box are implanted.
I need to be safe. It is always costly and painful to learn new lessons. I truly do not know who to trust. I am so innocent in my approach to things. I guess that the other people around me are as friendly inside as I am. And this is the mistake I make. I am hated, and ridiculed.
Friendship means everything to me.. Almost everything. God means everything to me. And I pray for friends. And I pray to let go of people that don't feel right or count as humans.. I have to learn to guard myself.
I am finding that many people are sociopaths; they cant do any better. Sociopaths have contempt for decent people. They hate what appears to be weak. God people appear weak to the sociopath. These vampires need to be in control of everything, they care nothing of who I am, or my feelings. I mean nothing to them, and I never will. And my demise means nothing to them. They will put a smile on and try the game on me!.
I will have to wake up and understand, that although the scenery is tempting.. I must refrain and look for friendship with my own kind. And , Im not sure where to find my own kind. I suppose at church. However, churches are filled with judgmental people ... Its all to much for me.
If I appear weak to people, or misunderstood, this is a sign to back away and never get near them ever again.. I must ignore them and stay away from them. Im sorry they don't see me or understand me.
They must respect the inside of me or I must stay to myself and never get around them again for any reason. Many of these people are climbing a social latter and are gaining strength at my expense that they walk over me to the next plateau. I never wanted to be someones sucker.
God told me no!, I did not listen.. I never do. I never meet the right people that God says yes!..
I don't feel good around people. People are to stupid and judgmental, Evil and pathological. Seems there goal is to always attempt to take over or take advantage of.
Im not sure who my people are. I get tired of being emotionally abandon and walked over.
When people are not willing to look for the truth then I must stay away.. I have to learn to protect myself. I must stay away from them.
I am crucified all day long on this planet by these people. I pray for relief and the ability to find the right people of dignity to associate with.. Im so confused..
I forgive all people, including the vampire and the sociopath. I pray they have everything I could ever want in this life. Amon
The bible talks of those in the light being taken advantage of by those in the darkness. Im mislead very easily. I think someone is on my side because they give me attention, they talk like me. Then I realize after its to late that I was trampled. The enemy Got me again; that is what I realize.
The enemy got me again. I never saw it coming. Satan is very close... He doesn't like me, he never has, Ive always been to close to God for his comfort... He uses those in his majesties service to pretend to be my acquaintance... then, when Im in to deep, he unleashes the fire upon my inner-self.. ripping up flesh, burning the membrane of my existence. Yet, Im not to die. He is sending me a message... He wants me to know that Im playing in his backyard, and the objects I am playing with are his.. They belong to him, and by there choice, he belongs to them.
I am in the wrong yard at the wrong time and never know it. I think I can play in anyones backyard. I get ripped up. However, lessons are learned. New tools for the tool box are implanted.
I need to be safe. It is always costly and painful to learn new lessons. I truly do not know who to trust. I am so innocent in my approach to things. I guess that the other people around me are as friendly inside as I am. And this is the mistake I make. I am hated, and ridiculed.
Friendship means everything to me.. Almost everything. God means everything to me. And I pray for friends. And I pray to let go of people that don't feel right or count as humans.. I have to learn to guard myself.
I am finding that many people are sociopaths; they cant do any better. Sociopaths have contempt for decent people. They hate what appears to be weak. God people appear weak to the sociopath. These vampires need to be in control of everything, they care nothing of who I am, or my feelings. I mean nothing to them, and I never will. And my demise means nothing to them. They will put a smile on and try the game on me!.
I will have to wake up and understand, that although the scenery is tempting.. I must refrain and look for friendship with my own kind. And , Im not sure where to find my own kind. I suppose at church. However, churches are filled with judgmental people ... Its all to much for me.
If I appear weak to people, or misunderstood, this is a sign to back away and never get near them ever again.. I must ignore them and stay away from them. Im sorry they don't see me or understand me.
They must respect the inside of me or I must stay to myself and never get around them again for any reason. Many of these people are climbing a social latter and are gaining strength at my expense that they walk over me to the next plateau. I never wanted to be someones sucker.
God told me no!, I did not listen.. I never do. I never meet the right people that God says yes!..
I don't feel good around people. People are to stupid and judgmental, Evil and pathological. Seems there goal is to always attempt to take over or take advantage of.
Im not sure who my people are. I get tired of being emotionally abandon and walked over.
When people are not willing to look for the truth then I must stay away.. I have to learn to protect myself. I must stay away from them.
I am crucified all day long on this planet by these people. I pray for relief and the ability to find the right people of dignity to associate with.. Im so confused..
I forgive all people, including the vampire and the sociopath. I pray they have everything I could ever want in this life. Amon
