The way I see it, if I broke my leg, okay so I'm going to have some mobility issues until it heals but chances are it won't adversely affect me beyond this. If I have a mental health illness it's not just my mind that is affected, as a nurse once said, what affects your mind affects the rest of you. Mental health is also a physical thing.
When I have intense anxiety my behaviour can change quite noticeably. Physically my heart will race, I will sweat, my thoughts will start what I call the downward spiral making it hard to concentrate. I will start pacing or stop whatever task I am on and become so consumed on what I am thinking that I have been known to sit there staring into space. At my worst I would burst into tears and if I was in public I would try to hide away so others did not see me, my boss once found me hiding in a toilet because I was ashamed of how I felt. I have been known to physically shake, vomit and suffer loss of hearing and tunnel vision. My breathing will become rapid and I will feel like I or my family will suffer some fatal injury. This could last from an hour to large parts of a day and afterwards would lead to me being exhausted. My behaviour to relieve these sensations could become bizarre (I will talk about my OCD in another post) but I would find myself asking the same question to someone repeatedly without listening, and it had to be the right person I asked. I have been known to park miles from where I need to be because the thought of parking closer terrified me and even gone all the way back to work because the thought of not having my phone on me having left it there was more to Han I could handle. I've even been known to hit myself to try to reduce my stress. I have been known to force myself to eat when I don't want to just to prevent me starving and avoided people and locations because I associated them with my stress.
At my worst my life became something I was observing without thought rather than something I was participating in like watching a film where the main star is missing but all the others actors carry on without them. My first days on the ward doctors and nurses would take my blood pressure, weight, measure me took my temperature and whilst I was aware of what they were doing I took no active part and just let them get on with it. I felt disconnected, like I was no longer there. When I wasn't like this I would cry non stop.
Something to bear in mind, suffering prolonged periods of stress can adversely affect the body's immune system and lead to becoming more vulnerable to infection and disease.
Stay safe and remember you are not alone.
When I have intense anxiety my behaviour can change quite noticeably. Physically my heart will race, I will sweat, my thoughts will start what I call the downward spiral making it hard to concentrate. I will start pacing or stop whatever task I am on and become so consumed on what I am thinking that I have been known to sit there staring into space. At my worst I would burst into tears and if I was in public I would try to hide away so others did not see me, my boss once found me hiding in a toilet because I was ashamed of how I felt. I have been known to physically shake, vomit and suffer loss of hearing and tunnel vision. My breathing will become rapid and I will feel like I or my family will suffer some fatal injury. This could last from an hour to large parts of a day and afterwards would lead to me being exhausted. My behaviour to relieve these sensations could become bizarre (I will talk about my OCD in another post) but I would find myself asking the same question to someone repeatedly without listening, and it had to be the right person I asked. I have been known to park miles from where I need to be because the thought of parking closer terrified me and even gone all the way back to work because the thought of not having my phone on me having left it there was more to Han I could handle. I've even been known to hit myself to try to reduce my stress. I have been known to force myself to eat when I don't want to just to prevent me starving and avoided people and locations because I associated them with my stress.
At my worst my life became something I was observing without thought rather than something I was participating in like watching a film where the main star is missing but all the others actors carry on without them. My first days on the ward doctors and nurses would take my blood pressure, weight, measure me took my temperature and whilst I was aware of what they were doing I took no active part and just let them get on with it. I felt disconnected, like I was no longer there. When I wasn't like this I would cry non stop.
Something to bear in mind, suffering prolonged periods of stress can adversely affect the body's immune system and lead to becoming more vulnerable to infection and disease.
Stay safe and remember you are not alone.
