There is a song I love. It sung by an Australian country singer called John Williamson. Some days I can sing the words by heart -
"Don't go lookin' through that old camphor box woman,
You know those old things only make you cry.
When you dream upon that little bunny rug
It makes you think that life has passed you by
There are days when you wish the world would stop woman,
But then you know some wounds would never heal
....
Don't buy the daily papers any more woman,
Read all about what's going on in hell.
They don't care to tell the world of kindness
Good news never made a paper sell.
There's all the colours of the rainbow in the garden woman
And symphonies of music in the sky
Heaven's all around us if you're looking,
But how can you see it if you cry."
You know it is such a beautiful song and yet it has so much meaning to it as well. We always like to look into the past as the "best of days". We look into the news paper to know "what is happening in the world." Yet, this gives us such a distorted view of life. We think that nothing good can ever happen as we have lost our opportunity to experience the best of things. As we stash away our hopes and dreams into a little box and watch another person achieve the dreams that we wanted to, we cry. As we read about the awful state of the world and we learn another hopeless story of poverty that surrounds (even in the richest of communities), we cry. But how can we see God working in ourlives if we are crying?
I know when I cry I get a distorted image of the world. My eyes fill up and it pointless trying to walk anywhere or try to do anything. But what if my soul is crying? What if I am spiritually crying or mentally crying? Many times we cry physically because our lives are crying. It is a physical manifestation of a feeling or emotion within us.
I guess I felt that way today when my friend went for a job interview in a dream job. This is a job in Australia, by the sea, in a small town with beauty surrounding her every day. I, on the other hand, live in East Timor. Totally different story. Part of me wanted to be jealous but I know she deserves, needs and wants this job. Part of me is happy for her (she deserves this and I love her dearly!) Another part of me wants to cry, "Why not me Lord?" I open my box of past dreams that have never come true. I open the box of past hurt. I open the box of what has happened that I never planned for. I open the box of what could have been. I really wanted to cry.
I know this box is attractive. I look at the road I wanted to take and then look at the road I did take in my life. Very different roads! But by focusing too much on this I am take my eyes of God and all the beauty I am still able to see every day. By continually thinking about the woman I would rather be, instead of the woman I really am, I am missing a lot of God's work in my life.
I am tired of thinking that "life has passed me by" because of my backward looking. I am who God made me to be. Not the woman I made me to be. I am all His handiwork. And I am ok with that. Finally.
"Don't go lookin' through that old camphor box woman,
You know those old things only make you cry.
When you dream upon that little bunny rug
It makes you think that life has passed you by
There are days when you wish the world would stop woman,
But then you know some wounds would never heal
....
Don't buy the daily papers any more woman,
Read all about what's going on in hell.
They don't care to tell the world of kindness
Good news never made a paper sell.
There's all the colours of the rainbow in the garden woman
And symphonies of music in the sky
Heaven's all around us if you're looking,
But how can you see it if you cry."
You know it is such a beautiful song and yet it has so much meaning to it as well. We always like to look into the past as the "best of days". We look into the news paper to know "what is happening in the world." Yet, this gives us such a distorted view of life. We think that nothing good can ever happen as we have lost our opportunity to experience the best of things. As we stash away our hopes and dreams into a little box and watch another person achieve the dreams that we wanted to, we cry. As we read about the awful state of the world and we learn another hopeless story of poverty that surrounds (even in the richest of communities), we cry. But how can we see God working in ourlives if we are crying?
I know when I cry I get a distorted image of the world. My eyes fill up and it pointless trying to walk anywhere or try to do anything. But what if my soul is crying? What if I am spiritually crying or mentally crying? Many times we cry physically because our lives are crying. It is a physical manifestation of a feeling or emotion within us.
I guess I felt that way today when my friend went for a job interview in a dream job. This is a job in Australia, by the sea, in a small town with beauty surrounding her every day. I, on the other hand, live in East Timor. Totally different story. Part of me wanted to be jealous but I know she deserves, needs and wants this job. Part of me is happy for her (she deserves this and I love her dearly!) Another part of me wants to cry, "Why not me Lord?" I open my box of past dreams that have never come true. I open the box of past hurt. I open the box of what has happened that I never planned for. I open the box of what could have been. I really wanted to cry.
I know this box is attractive. I look at the road I wanted to take and then look at the road I did take in my life. Very different roads! But by focusing too much on this I am take my eyes of God and all the beauty I am still able to see every day. By continually thinking about the woman I would rather be, instead of the woman I really am, I am missing a lot of God's work in my life.
I am tired of thinking that "life has passed me by" because of my backward looking. I am who God made me to be. Not the woman I made me to be. I am all His handiwork. And I am ok with that. Finally.
