I have decided to move to Indonesia. With the decision came a lot of anxiety. More than I expected. I have been having nightmares about the decision. Before I made the decision I knew that it was the right one. After, I felt like something was wrong.
I am not sure what it is. Jakarta is a big city. I have lived in big cities before but this is going to be different. It is going to be a time of trial. I know that it won't be easy.
i am not sure if all of this anxiety is me just realising that my life is not going the way I planned again. I thought this time I would be back in Australia for good. I was going to spend a lot more time on my writing. I was going to live a quiet and simple life which is something that I have longed for. Yet, I seem to find myself drawn back to the tropics. To the heat and mosquitos. To the foreign languages and dirt.
Yet, I have hope. Fear can be the catalyst for change. It can make me be something different to what I am today - for the good or the bad. As they say "bravery isn't the absence of fear but the ability to face fear."
And I was reflecting on all of this yesterday at church, I realised that God will be with me. As it says in Joshua 1: 9 (CEV) "I’ve commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the Lord your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go."
That's the promise I have. I am not sure why I have to go again. Maybe it is time I learnt that simple lesson - God is in the centre of all things including this time in Jakarta.
I am not sure what it is. Jakarta is a big city. I have lived in big cities before but this is going to be different. It is going to be a time of trial. I know that it won't be easy.
i am not sure if all of this anxiety is me just realising that my life is not going the way I planned again. I thought this time I would be back in Australia for good. I was going to spend a lot more time on my writing. I was going to live a quiet and simple life which is something that I have longed for. Yet, I seem to find myself drawn back to the tropics. To the heat and mosquitos. To the foreign languages and dirt.
Yet, I have hope. Fear can be the catalyst for change. It can make me be something different to what I am today - for the good or the bad. As they say "bravery isn't the absence of fear but the ability to face fear."
And I was reflecting on all of this yesterday at church, I realised that God will be with me. As it says in Joshua 1: 9 (CEV) "I’ve commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the Lord your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go."
That's the promise I have. I am not sure why I have to go again. Maybe it is time I learnt that simple lesson - God is in the centre of all things including this time in Jakarta.
