I'm new here, and I appreciate that this forum has blogs on Asperger's Syndrome and stuff, 'cause I have it. And don't like it.
I know what people are gonna say. "Trust God!" or "Just pray more!" I've heard it all already. I converted about two years ago, but with things as they are now, I honestly wonder if I'd been better off if I hadn't been saved.
I struggle with depression, and the meds aren't helping much. I still live with my parents, and I'm the youngest of three. They all moved away. I know my family loves me and their very supportive. But they don't know what it's like to be different.
I'm not as "religious" as my parents are or the people at my church. I have no friends and am out of work and school. I've never had a boyfriend, never even been on a date, and it's driving me insane. I've even thought a few times of suicide, but I haven't gone through with it because my family would be too sad, and I'd rather be safe than sorry.
I'm just a basket-case as far as I'm concerned. I just had my third oral surgery and am going to have plenty more just to get another thing people naturally have that I don't.
I often don't feel part of humanity. I mean, I know I'm better off than most people, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect. As for spiritual things, whenever I pray, it feels weird and unnatural. One time I even got so angry I went into an all-out cuss session in front of God, dropping F-bombs and saying all sorts of vulgarities. I guess this "abundant life" Jesus promised will always remain a mystery for me, since it only seems to be given to a select-few who are lucky enough to be born with a heightened sense of spirituality.
Just wanted a place where I could vent other than in front of my parents.
I know what people are gonna say. "Trust God!" or "Just pray more!" I've heard it all already. I converted about two years ago, but with things as they are now, I honestly wonder if I'd been better off if I hadn't been saved.
I struggle with depression, and the meds aren't helping much. I still live with my parents, and I'm the youngest of three. They all moved away. I know my family loves me and their very supportive. But they don't know what it's like to be different.
I'm not as "religious" as my parents are or the people at my church. I have no friends and am out of work and school. I've never had a boyfriend, never even been on a date, and it's driving me insane. I've even thought a few times of suicide, but I haven't gone through with it because my family would be too sad, and I'd rather be safe than sorry.
I'm just a basket-case as far as I'm concerned. I just had my third oral surgery and am going to have plenty more just to get another thing people naturally have that I don't.
I often don't feel part of humanity. I mean, I know I'm better off than most people, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect. As for spiritual things, whenever I pray, it feels weird and unnatural. One time I even got so angry I went into an all-out cuss session in front of God, dropping F-bombs and saying all sorts of vulgarities. I guess this "abundant life" Jesus promised will always remain a mystery for me, since it only seems to be given to a select-few who are lucky enough to be born with a heightened sense of spirituality.
Just wanted a place where I could vent other than in front of my parents.
