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Letting Go

Trusting God is hard thing... Its hard when others will die in front of me... Or I have someone in front of me that needs love and needs to be taken care off and I cant.. Its illegal, or Im not asked... I have to watch them be destroyed by there parents... Watch there soul die away... Watch them give up thinking they are worthless and no good. watch them crawl inside themselves never to return to this human experience.. All they need is love... I can give that love... Yet, I cannot...

How do I trust God.. Am I suppose to watch innocence get slaughtered... Why was I born.. for what reason...

I cannot give, I cannot forget... Therefore I am trapped.. I am trapped like the children that is being thrown way...

How can I sit back and watch and do nothing..

Trusting God is a horrible thing. It means I see the truth... To walk away from this world is nothing... To walk away from this world knowing innocent kids will parish and do nothing about it is something different. Something I do not know how to accept as a grown man... What does a man stand for.. yet, Im trapped and Im no Houdini... I don't know how to get out of this box.. This is life or death for someone else and I cant save them.. I have to watch then die, like watching someone go down on a ship... I could save them... I have the saving equipment.. I don't have permission from the state...

What is a man worth.... I cant put my arms around someone and love them.... take care of them... save them... Im not allowed to do anything....

My relationship with God is going to have to get stronger.. much stronger if Im going to understand how to continue in this life.. what is this life worth... How can I continue in it when I know others suffer and I can do nothing to help them... I cant sleep at night because of it..

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omnicell
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