I forget that Im in the jungle with non caring, non Christian people. They don't have God.
I am alive because of God. I have to learn at this point to wait on God and trust only God. I will not trust the world. I will trust God. And like a child, look up and only trust him.
I am alone. the better I become, less people want to help. They want me down and out. I suppose Im exposing something about them. Im exposing there sin I guess. I really don't care. And Im not thinking about them. Im thinking about myself and my recovery.
I want to make the switch over to trust God and expecting nothing from people. It is very hard and scary and lonely and does not seem normal or possible. I do not want to live in isolation the rest of my life, However, people are a mean bunch. Ruthless, uncaring, pathological. Its crazy! People are worse then animals. At-least animals play-you to eat real foot. People play me in order to ruin me; ruining me is there food.
I know at some point I have to let go and let God, and move on! Im scared of the move. Im not sure what it means. Im not sure where Im going! Im afraid to let people go from my past that I wont see again, yet, I still love. I must learn to let go and love God, and take all things to God and leave the rest. Its hard work. I take my will back; I pay for it!>
Its impossible to get my hopes up in this world. Well, thats not true. Ive got plenty of hope going up. I don't have hope helping the poor. Ive had nothing put personal roadblocks. My system will not open up! Ive been to damaged to go back to poverty and its life. I will have to work with God on this.
I am alone and lonely, and that scares me. Im a nice person and I get treated horribly, indifferently.
I have no real friends. I have a few acquaintances.
Ive been around vampires that want to take. When they realize feeding time is over, they leave.
At that crucial time when I need people, that I grow, I need the support, they are nowhere to be found.
I suppose people are not honest. That might be a reason they want nothing to do with me. Or, they would have to treat me at the level of status that I have earned. Seems that some do not want to accept that I have earned my level of status. Therefore, they want to take it from me. Trample me under there feet and turn and tear me into pieces.
I am alive because of God. I have to learn at this point to wait on God and trust only God. I will not trust the world. I will trust God. And like a child, look up and only trust him.
I am alone. the better I become, less people want to help. They want me down and out. I suppose Im exposing something about them. Im exposing there sin I guess. I really don't care. And Im not thinking about them. Im thinking about myself and my recovery.
I want to make the switch over to trust God and expecting nothing from people. It is very hard and scary and lonely and does not seem normal or possible. I do not want to live in isolation the rest of my life, However, people are a mean bunch. Ruthless, uncaring, pathological. Its crazy! People are worse then animals. At-least animals play-you to eat real foot. People play me in order to ruin me; ruining me is there food.
I know at some point I have to let go and let God, and move on! Im scared of the move. Im not sure what it means. Im not sure where Im going! Im afraid to let people go from my past that I wont see again, yet, I still love. I must learn to let go and love God, and take all things to God and leave the rest. Its hard work. I take my will back; I pay for it!>
Its impossible to get my hopes up in this world. Well, thats not true. Ive got plenty of hope going up. I don't have hope helping the poor. Ive had nothing put personal roadblocks. My system will not open up! Ive been to damaged to go back to poverty and its life. I will have to work with God on this.
I am alone and lonely, and that scares me. Im a nice person and I get treated horribly, indifferently.
I have no real friends. I have a few acquaintances.
Ive been around vampires that want to take. When they realize feeding time is over, they leave.
At that crucial time when I need people, that I grow, I need the support, they are nowhere to be found.
I suppose people are not honest. That might be a reason they want nothing to do with me. Or, they would have to treat me at the level of status that I have earned. Seems that some do not want to accept that I have earned my level of status. Therefore, they want to take it from me. Trample me under there feet and turn and tear me into pieces.
