Well, I got some time here at the office today due to a meeting being cancelled so I figured I would be better off here than over on a mountain bike forum getting more addicted to bikes and spending money!
Since I already posted up a few things out of my jounal I figured I might as well give a quick bio on myself.
I am currently 39, married for 15 years, have 3 daughters (twin 12 yr olds and a 6 yr old), work full time for the National Institutes of Health, and spend a bulk of my free time running kids around or out on my bike. Provided my honey-do list is completed!
I grew up an Army Bratt and lived in Germany twice before graduating highschool. I was exposed to the church but we were never really members anywhere. Eventually, after I have moved out of the house, my parents became Mormons. My parents later devorced, my committed suicide some years after that and my mother remarried to a wonderful man by the name of Ron who is also a Mormon. They live in Co and really are a great couple.
I moved out to join the Army myself after starving to death and trying to survive while on a cycling scholarship at college. I spent 6 years in Army and during that time I did all sorts of cool things. I have jumped out of planes, blown stuff up, and shot all sorts of cool weapons. In the end though, I left the military and went back to work as a veterinary assistant heading up a surgical research department for the NIH. I have been with NIH for over 14 years now and have since crossed over to the government side of things. Its a far cry from my days as a Ranger but I get to go home every day and spend time with my family which is the main reason I opted to get out of the military.
I would have to say that I am a victim of this world. I tend to get caught up in worldly possessions. I love bicycles and cars. Nothing wrong with that really until that is where your heart is all the time. I have screwed things up along the way of course and put myself in some financial binds because of these hobbies (addictions). I am still working on getting out debt but I am no where near where I used to be. I guess you can say that I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have a new found joy in becoming debt free.
While I was in the military, I spent the first year of my marriage in Panama at the US Army's Jungle Warfare school. As beautiful as the place was it was horrible being away from my wife. During my departure, she began attending church on a regular basis. I decided that if I wanted our marriage to work, I would try to find out what this religion thing was all about. I bought a Bible and began reading. I had no clue what I was doing but if it was going to help my wife and I stay together down the road then I was willing to try.
When I returned to the states we bought a house and began attending church together. I guess I had been back in the states for maybe 3-4 months when a deacon and the pastor came by the house after visiting some other church members that lived right around the corner. I remember talking with them and eventually accepting God into my life that same day in our living room.
Honestly though, I don't think that was the day I became a Christian. It was not until a few years later when things really started to sink in. I remember being convicted one service and was simply overcome with guilt. I said the sinners prayer with our pastor at the end of the service and haven't looked back since. Well, I was a believer at this point anyway. Though I look back and I think I have still been going through the motions for years.
This past August (2010) things sort of took a turn for the worst when my wife confronted me about a credit card that I had been buying bike parts with and running up a nice little bill. I had not told her about this so it really wasn't about the money as much as it was the "Dark Secrets" that I had been keeping if you will. Unfortunately, this was not the first time something like this had happened although it was definitely the worst. I was in debt some $3400 at that point. But the bigger part of it was that I was lieing about it. We started going to a counselor but things just weren't working out there. The doctor was a Christian but he would just sit there and say nothing. I mean, litterally, he said nothing! Then we had to pay him! We pretty much stopped going.
Over the next few months things started getting better. I was not spending money and was actually paying down the balance. But I had a slip up and probably spent another $300 on crap I thought I had to have.
I realized things were going terribly wrong here. I had slipped away from God though I was still going to church. I wasn't praying any longer nor was I spending time in Gods word. Then two weeks ago, the pastor started talking about me. I'm telling you, this guy did everything but mention my name while he was on stage! At first I was mad! I was uncomfortable sitting there. I felt like everyone was staring at me even though hardly none of them knew who I was or my history.
I came to work that Monday and began to pray. I opened up my Bible and started doing my Bible study again. I made it my NY resolution to start my Bible study from scratch. Its called the 440 challenge. Basically, to read the Bible in 440 days. I thought this would be difficult since it actually starts in Genesis, a book that I have read at least 4-5 times now. But something was different. God was opening my eyes. I was seeing things that I hadn't caught before. Sure I know the story, but God was giving it meaning this time and showing me how it actually applies in my life today!
I pretty much broke down in my office. I said the sinners prayer yet again. I begged for forgiveness and asked God to guide me out of this mess that I have created. So far the hardest thing for me has been letting go of my anxiety over the problem after praying about it. At the same time, my anxiety and prayer has brought me to a calm place where I have felt more connected than ever to God. Perhaps this was/is his way of bringing me back into his flock. Perhaps that is why I finally did a simple search and found this forum.
So what can I say, I'm just a normal guy. I have good days and bad days. But through it all, I know that God is in my life and will not give me more than I can bare.
Since I already posted up a few things out of my jounal I figured I might as well give a quick bio on myself.
I am currently 39, married for 15 years, have 3 daughters (twin 12 yr olds and a 6 yr old), work full time for the National Institutes of Health, and spend a bulk of my free time running kids around or out on my bike. Provided my honey-do list is completed!
I grew up an Army Bratt and lived in Germany twice before graduating highschool. I was exposed to the church but we were never really members anywhere. Eventually, after I have moved out of the house, my parents became Mormons. My parents later devorced, my committed suicide some years after that and my mother remarried to a wonderful man by the name of Ron who is also a Mormon. They live in Co and really are a great couple.
I moved out to join the Army myself after starving to death and trying to survive while on a cycling scholarship at college. I spent 6 years in Army and during that time I did all sorts of cool things. I have jumped out of planes, blown stuff up, and shot all sorts of cool weapons. In the end though, I left the military and went back to work as a veterinary assistant heading up a surgical research department for the NIH. I have been with NIH for over 14 years now and have since crossed over to the government side of things. Its a far cry from my days as a Ranger but I get to go home every day and spend time with my family which is the main reason I opted to get out of the military.
I would have to say that I am a victim of this world. I tend to get caught up in worldly possessions. I love bicycles and cars. Nothing wrong with that really until that is where your heart is all the time. I have screwed things up along the way of course and put myself in some financial binds because of these hobbies (addictions). I am still working on getting out debt but I am no where near where I used to be. I guess you can say that I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have a new found joy in becoming debt free.
While I was in the military, I spent the first year of my marriage in Panama at the US Army's Jungle Warfare school. As beautiful as the place was it was horrible being away from my wife. During my departure, she began attending church on a regular basis. I decided that if I wanted our marriage to work, I would try to find out what this religion thing was all about. I bought a Bible and began reading. I had no clue what I was doing but if it was going to help my wife and I stay together down the road then I was willing to try.
When I returned to the states we bought a house and began attending church together. I guess I had been back in the states for maybe 3-4 months when a deacon and the pastor came by the house after visiting some other church members that lived right around the corner. I remember talking with them and eventually accepting God into my life that same day in our living room.
Honestly though, I don't think that was the day I became a Christian. It was not until a few years later when things really started to sink in. I remember being convicted one service and was simply overcome with guilt. I said the sinners prayer with our pastor at the end of the service and haven't looked back since. Well, I was a believer at this point anyway. Though I look back and I think I have still been going through the motions for years.
This past August (2010) things sort of took a turn for the worst when my wife confronted me about a credit card that I had been buying bike parts with and running up a nice little bill. I had not told her about this so it really wasn't about the money as much as it was the "Dark Secrets" that I had been keeping if you will. Unfortunately, this was not the first time something like this had happened although it was definitely the worst. I was in debt some $3400 at that point. But the bigger part of it was that I was lieing about it. We started going to a counselor but things just weren't working out there. The doctor was a Christian but he would just sit there and say nothing. I mean, litterally, he said nothing! Then we had to pay him! We pretty much stopped going.
Over the next few months things started getting better. I was not spending money and was actually paying down the balance. But I had a slip up and probably spent another $300 on crap I thought I had to have.
I realized things were going terribly wrong here. I had slipped away from God though I was still going to church. I wasn't praying any longer nor was I spending time in Gods word. Then two weeks ago, the pastor started talking about me. I'm telling you, this guy did everything but mention my name while he was on stage! At first I was mad! I was uncomfortable sitting there. I felt like everyone was staring at me even though hardly none of them knew who I was or my history.
I came to work that Monday and began to pray. I opened up my Bible and started doing my Bible study again. I made it my NY resolution to start my Bible study from scratch. Its called the 440 challenge. Basically, to read the Bible in 440 days. I thought this would be difficult since it actually starts in Genesis, a book that I have read at least 4-5 times now. But something was different. God was opening my eyes. I was seeing things that I hadn't caught before. Sure I know the story, but God was giving it meaning this time and showing me how it actually applies in my life today!
I pretty much broke down in my office. I said the sinners prayer yet again. I begged for forgiveness and asked God to guide me out of this mess that I have created. So far the hardest thing for me has been letting go of my anxiety over the problem after praying about it. At the same time, my anxiety and prayer has brought me to a calm place where I have felt more connected than ever to God. Perhaps this was/is his way of bringing me back into his flock. Perhaps that is why I finally did a simple search and found this forum.
So what can I say, I'm just a normal guy. I have good days and bad days. But through it all, I know that God is in my life and will not give me more than I can bare.
