I went to church today but had a horrific experience. I had some terrible flashbacks to my torturer calling me evil and beating me. She had no mercy on me and I feel she was able to destroy me. I know Jesus is going to save me this holiday season. I know he will come and help me and protect me and give me hope. I know that he loves me a lot. I love him a lot too. I don't want him to ever be taken away from me. Jesus let me know that he loves me and that I have suffered a lot. He said for me to read about saints every day and that it will help me see I was not alone in my suffering but that people have suffered badly throughout history for being Christian.
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