I used to be so certain in my faith. Now, I'm not.
I have no idea when this started, but I wish it would go away and never return. I posted a thread here asking for advice and I was given a link to an article about "the dark night of the soul". It describes exactly what I am currently going through - to quote Wikipedia
Should I just stop fighting to regain my belief and trust that He is putting me through this for some reason that is currently unknown to me? Or should I fight a seemingly impossible fight with myself and pray that all becomes clear in the future?
I am so scared and tired and confused and hurt - I am also so very lost and lonely and that is the reason that I came back to this forum after a long absence (when I joined my faith was rock solid and it was only when it started slipping away from me that I remembered I had joined - and I hope that the fellowship of like minded people will stop this and help me to reverse it and get back to where I feel I should be).
This is also effecting my prayer life, as I am not sure if my prayers are being heard although I continue to say them (though less and less as the days go by)... somehow it just feels so futile. I also get nothing from reading Scripture like I used to, and that breaks my heart even more. Even when I felt as if life was doing its best to break me, I always had Scripture to pull me through, to reassure me and guide me... at worst to make me realise that I was loved by Him, if I was loved by no one else - I no longer have that. I feel as if I am totally alone, as if I have been cast away and left to drift on a sea of doubt, all alone
I also have no real life people around me that understand or that care about this issue. I have no church or group that I feel confident enough to go to, no one to seek advice from... that is until I remembered here. I'm fervently hoping that this forum will re-ignite my faith, will help me to get to the dawn of this "dark night" and help me emerge from it stronger, more faithful and more sure of my faith than I have ever been.
If nothing else I continue to hope... it is all I have left
I have no idea when this started, but I wish it would go away and never return. I posted a thread here asking for advice and I was given a link to an article about "the dark night of the soul". It describes exactly what I am currently going through - to quote Wikipedia
I know I'm not alone in going through this kind of thing, but it scares me, very much. Suppose I never regain the faith I once had and I am doomed to spend the rest of my life having to live like this?! To never feel that closeness in Him I once took for granted, to never get the comfort and solace from His Word that I used to have. It makes me very upset and I am sat here thinking about this almost in tears, it upsets me that much
Should I just stop fighting to regain my belief and trust that He is putting me through this for some reason that is currently unknown to me? Or should I fight a seemingly impossible fight with myself and pray that all becomes clear in the future?
I am so scared and tired and confused and hurt - I am also so very lost and lonely and that is the reason that I came back to this forum after a long absence (when I joined my faith was rock solid and it was only when it started slipping away from me that I remembered I had joined - and I hope that the fellowship of like minded people will stop this and help me to reverse it and get back to where I feel I should be).
This is also effecting my prayer life, as I am not sure if my prayers are being heard although I continue to say them (though less and less as the days go by)... somehow it just feels so futile. I also get nothing from reading Scripture like I used to, and that breaks my heart even more. Even when I felt as if life was doing its best to break me, I always had Scripture to pull me through, to reassure me and guide me... at worst to make me realise that I was loved by Him, if I was loved by no one else - I no longer have that. I feel as if I am totally alone, as if I have been cast away and left to drift on a sea of doubt, all alone
I also have no real life people around me that understand or that care about this issue. I have no church or group that I feel confident enough to go to, no one to seek advice from... that is until I remembered here. I'm fervently hoping that this forum will re-ignite my faith, will help me to get to the dawn of this "dark night" and help me emerge from it stronger, more faithful and more sure of my faith than I have ever been.
If nothing else I continue to hope... it is all I have left
