Have you ever been deeply hurt? Have you wondered if you would ever be able to forgive? It is not easy, but it is possible. Basically it involves forgiving all the people involved and giving the whole situation to the Lord. In the end, God will act--and your own heart will heal.
Anger is caustic. It eats into the most tender part of your soul--your heart. In time it can become the root of bitterness Hebrews 12:15 talks about. It will steal your joy, it will steal your victory, it will steal your health, it can even steal your life.
It is important to forgive. Jesus tells us to forgive in the Lord's prayer, Matthew 6:12. He also said that if we don't forgive then we will not forgiven ourselves, Matt. 6:14-15. Also, if we don't forgive we will be thrown into that prison where we are tormented continually by our angry thoughts, Matt. 18:21-35. You don't need this--it's awful, I've been there. It is much better to forgive. If you forgive and give this situation to God, then you will be released from all that bitterness. You will no longer be tormented. Here is how to do this:
1. Choose to forgive. Every time you think about the people and all they said and did, just say (out loud, if you can), "I choose to forgive."
Forgiveness is a walk. We are complex, we have many layers in our hearts and souls--and it can take a while to forgive from all those different parts. Forgiving can be challenging, also, because the angry thoughts and memories will pop into your mind again and again, often unbidden and unexpected.
What to do? Just say "I choose to forgive" each and every time.
Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive. Do you remember Jesus' answer? 70 X 7, Matthew 18:22. That's 490 times. When I was going through these steps, I felt like I had to forgive all 490 times in one week. I did it anyway. Just keep saying, "I choose to forgive." Eventually you will know that you are winning, because the thoughts will come less often, and the bitterness will feel less deep.
2. Bless the people who hurt you. This sounds like the hardest step, but it actually isn't. Jesus said to bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you, Luke 6:28. I really had a tough time with this at first, but I felt that God wanted me to do it--it was part of the process of forgiving and releasing everything to Him. Then I found a blessing I can pray on any enemy! It is in Acts 3:26 “…God…sent [Jesus Christ] to bless you, in turning away every one of you from your iniquities.” Pray that God will turn them away from iniquity, which is sin and moral depravity. Also, what better blessing can there be than to know Christ? So here is what I pray for my enemies--for God to turn them away from sin, and to reveal Christ to them instead. Even if they are saved, they obviously need this blessing.
3. Give the situation to the Lord. The next step, once you have said, "I choose to forgive," and bless them, praying Acts 3:26, is to give the situation to the Lord.
You have every right to be angry, and the Bible says, "Be angry but do not sin." But I've found it a powerful and effective prayer to say to the Lord that I had every right to be angry, but I was giving my anger to the Lord--and the whole situation as well.
Psalm 55:22 helps here. It says, "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you. He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care on Him, for He cares for you."
So give all of this to God--the thoughts, the anger, everything. He knows you are angry, He knows you are hurt. He can handle it.
4. Ask God to take the hurt. There can be so much pain in your soul, it may feel almost impossible to function. Ask Him to take the hurt and give you His peace.
He can; He will. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid,“ John 12:27. Remember that He promises He will keep you in perfect peace if you keep your mind fixed on Him, Isaiah 26:3. Fix your eyes on Jesus, Heb. 12:2. Ask Him to take the hurt, and give you His peace.
5. Ask God to restore the things which have been stolen from you. What was taken from you in all this situation? Your trust in the Lord? Ask for that to be restored. Everything that you lost--ask for that and more.
Here is where I think you can have immense victory, because God knows your pain and the sacrifice these steps have taken--He knows what this has cost. So be bold and pray for abundant blessings instead. I have found this to be true--it is when we are most hurt--but choose to believe God and obey Him anyway--that we can pray for the desires of our heart, Psalm 37:4. These will not be vengeful things, these will be good things--and you will see God act. 2 Cor. 10:6 promises that when you obedience is complete He will act. He will.
Anger is caustic. It eats into the most tender part of your soul--your heart. In time it can become the root of bitterness Hebrews 12:15 talks about. It will steal your joy, it will steal your victory, it will steal your health, it can even steal your life.
It is important to forgive. Jesus tells us to forgive in the Lord's prayer, Matthew 6:12. He also said that if we don't forgive then we will not forgiven ourselves, Matt. 6:14-15. Also, if we don't forgive we will be thrown into that prison where we are tormented continually by our angry thoughts, Matt. 18:21-35. You don't need this--it's awful, I've been there. It is much better to forgive. If you forgive and give this situation to God, then you will be released from all that bitterness. You will no longer be tormented. Here is how to do this:
1. Choose to forgive. Every time you think about the people and all they said and did, just say (out loud, if you can), "I choose to forgive."
Forgiveness is a walk. We are complex, we have many layers in our hearts and souls--and it can take a while to forgive from all those different parts. Forgiving can be challenging, also, because the angry thoughts and memories will pop into your mind again and again, often unbidden and unexpected.
What to do? Just say "I choose to forgive" each and every time.
Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive. Do you remember Jesus' answer? 70 X 7, Matthew 18:22. That's 490 times. When I was going through these steps, I felt like I had to forgive all 490 times in one week. I did it anyway. Just keep saying, "I choose to forgive." Eventually you will know that you are winning, because the thoughts will come less often, and the bitterness will feel less deep.
2. Bless the people who hurt you. This sounds like the hardest step, but it actually isn't. Jesus said to bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you, Luke 6:28. I really had a tough time with this at first, but I felt that God wanted me to do it--it was part of the process of forgiving and releasing everything to Him. Then I found a blessing I can pray on any enemy! It is in Acts 3:26 “…God…sent [Jesus Christ] to bless you, in turning away every one of you from your iniquities.” Pray that God will turn them away from iniquity, which is sin and moral depravity. Also, what better blessing can there be than to know Christ? So here is what I pray for my enemies--for God to turn them away from sin, and to reveal Christ to them instead. Even if they are saved, they obviously need this blessing.
3. Give the situation to the Lord. The next step, once you have said, "I choose to forgive," and bless them, praying Acts 3:26, is to give the situation to the Lord.
You have every right to be angry, and the Bible says, "Be angry but do not sin." But I've found it a powerful and effective prayer to say to the Lord that I had every right to be angry, but I was giving my anger to the Lord--and the whole situation as well.
Psalm 55:22 helps here. It says, "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you. He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care on Him, for He cares for you."
So give all of this to God--the thoughts, the anger, everything. He knows you are angry, He knows you are hurt. He can handle it.
4. Ask God to take the hurt. There can be so much pain in your soul, it may feel almost impossible to function. Ask Him to take the hurt and give you His peace.
He can; He will. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid,“ John 12:27. Remember that He promises He will keep you in perfect peace if you keep your mind fixed on Him, Isaiah 26:3. Fix your eyes on Jesus, Heb. 12:2. Ask Him to take the hurt, and give you His peace.
5. Ask God to restore the things which have been stolen from you. What was taken from you in all this situation? Your trust in the Lord? Ask for that to be restored. Everything that you lost--ask for that and more.
Here is where I think you can have immense victory, because God knows your pain and the sacrifice these steps have taken--He knows what this has cost. So be bold and pray for abundant blessings instead. I have found this to be true--it is when we are most hurt--but choose to believe God and obey Him anyway--that we can pray for the desires of our heart, Psalm 37:4. These will not be vengeful things, these will be good things--and you will see God act. 2 Cor. 10:6 promises that when you obedience is complete He will act. He will.
