I'm blogging for the first time in almost a year. Things have gotten so crazy. Friends have come and gone. Jobs have gone by the wayside. Loved ones are gone. Even my bedroom has gone through changes from blue to pink. So many things have changed. I, have even changed and I can only hope for the better. Into all this, is the realisation that another change may well be on the horizon. I'm not sure how many more changes I can take.
I am involved with this guy. He's a good guy, believer, we seemingly mesh in all the right ways. He's not too bad looking, and we can laugh together. He's coming to visit me for my birhthday, and I feel that he's going to ask that question. You know the one. The question that can either make you weak in the knees or the stomach.
I'm pretty sure I love him. Fairly certain. But, how do you know for sure? And more importantly, how can you be sure you're ready for that question? I hate to sound like a commitment phobe but I'm not sure if I'm ready for marriage. That's so...so intense. In some way I feel that I would be content just to date him for the rest of my life.
And as far as children go, well I'm not exactly rushing to have them. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I just don't feel compelled to have any of my own. I don't feel my life is lacking without them. Or without a husband for that matter. What does that say about me? I'm kinda worried about myself. Am I some sort of narcistist who is incapable of having a relationship with anyone? If only my grandmother were here. I relied on her so much for wisdom and insight. I know she would know just what to say.
I am involved with this guy. He's a good guy, believer, we seemingly mesh in all the right ways. He's not too bad looking, and we can laugh together. He's coming to visit me for my birhthday, and I feel that he's going to ask that question. You know the one. The question that can either make you weak in the knees or the stomach.
I'm pretty sure I love him. Fairly certain. But, how do you know for sure? And more importantly, how can you be sure you're ready for that question? I hate to sound like a commitment phobe but I'm not sure if I'm ready for marriage. That's so...so intense. In some way I feel that I would be content just to date him for the rest of my life.
And as far as children go, well I'm not exactly rushing to have them. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I just don't feel compelled to have any of my own. I don't feel my life is lacking without them. Or without a husband for that matter. What does that say about me? I'm kinda worried about myself. Am I some sort of narcistist who is incapable of having a relationship with anyone? If only my grandmother were here. I relied on her so much for wisdom and insight. I know she would know just what to say.
