I need help, because I'm in danger of hell.
Here is my story. When I was little I was very, very close to God (even though I didn't have a name to put to that feeling inside of me. I didn't know it was God-I think). Then when I was in 7th grade, I started exaggerating to my friends. God warned me to stop, but I repeatedly ignored Him. Later that year, I began to have really evil thoughts, and I was distressed. He distanced Himself from me, then, and it hurt so bad. It was the most awful feeling, I cried for 2 weeks. But then He came back and it felt so good, like I was air!
Not long after I came back to God, I strayed from Him again. I gave in to idoltary, jealousy, and eventually I began to hate. Then when I was in 9th grade I started to mess with masturbation and pornography. The first time I experimented, I immediately felt guilty. But only a couple seconds later, I ignored that final feeling of guilt and did it again. And that was the last time I ever felt remorse, when I was 14-years-old. And now I'm almost 20. Nowdays, I never feel any kind of warmth, love, kindness, remorse, anything. I don't feel as if I love anyone on this earth. I'm afraid that I have a hardened heart, which is an unpardonable sin. No, I KNOW that's what I have.
What do I do now? How do I save myself now that God and His Holy Spirit have left me?
Here is my story. When I was little I was very, very close to God (even though I didn't have a name to put to that feeling inside of me. I didn't know it was God-I think). Then when I was in 7th grade, I started exaggerating to my friends. God warned me to stop, but I repeatedly ignored Him. Later that year, I began to have really evil thoughts, and I was distressed. He distanced Himself from me, then, and it hurt so bad. It was the most awful feeling, I cried for 2 weeks. But then He came back and it felt so good, like I was air!
Not long after I came back to God, I strayed from Him again. I gave in to idoltary, jealousy, and eventually I began to hate. Then when I was in 9th grade I started to mess with masturbation and pornography. The first time I experimented, I immediately felt guilty. But only a couple seconds later, I ignored that final feeling of guilt and did it again. And that was the last time I ever felt remorse, when I was 14-years-old. And now I'm almost 20. Nowdays, I never feel any kind of warmth, love, kindness, remorse, anything. I don't feel as if I love anyone on this earth. I'm afraid that I have a hardened heart, which is an unpardonable sin. No, I KNOW that's what I have.
What do I do now? How do I save myself now that God and His Holy Spirit have left me?
