Dear Lord God,
I feel like that again today. There is nothing going right, everything is going wrong. It has been a long time since I have felt really happy other than on vacation. I mean in my daily life. Everyone seems to have the answers to my misery here though I am not sure that everyone is really listening to the problem. They see the world through their eyes and think that I should behave the same.
I am not sure why I feel so guilty about one of my friends deserting me again. I know that she did not live a life that I would want to live. IN fact she made some reckless decisions that, even though did not effect me, showed me the true way that she lived. I know that is not the way that you would want me to live but it always feels sad when you loose a friend. I guess it will be ok but the weather is not really helping my mood either. The drizzle is not fun. It is cold and there is no heating. The electricity went out for a couple of hours today and I feel all alone in this empty flat...
But the truth is Lord I know when I am at my happiest and that is when I am with You. Talking with You and walking with You. It seems here at the moment there are still many things trying to prevent me from walking by yourside and many of them are inside of me. I know that I may have to loose a lot of things so that I may gain. Here at the moment I have lost friends, respect and money. I have lost more though I know through all of this You are working for my good. That there is a happiness at the end of all of this that will last for all of eternity.
Dear Lord, help me to know what is of You and what is not. Help me to choose my friends wisely. To make decisions and stick to them and when this world feels like it is crashing around me again to hold onto You.
And Lord, as I prepare to party let my focus be on celebrating You and not me.
In Jesus name, Amen
I feel like that again today. There is nothing going right, everything is going wrong. It has been a long time since I have felt really happy other than on vacation. I mean in my daily life. Everyone seems to have the answers to my misery here though I am not sure that everyone is really listening to the problem. They see the world through their eyes and think that I should behave the same.
I am not sure why I feel so guilty about one of my friends deserting me again. I know that she did not live a life that I would want to live. IN fact she made some reckless decisions that, even though did not effect me, showed me the true way that she lived. I know that is not the way that you would want me to live but it always feels sad when you loose a friend. I guess it will be ok but the weather is not really helping my mood either. The drizzle is not fun. It is cold and there is no heating. The electricity went out for a couple of hours today and I feel all alone in this empty flat...
But the truth is Lord I know when I am at my happiest and that is when I am with You. Talking with You and walking with You. It seems here at the moment there are still many things trying to prevent me from walking by yourside and many of them are inside of me. I know that I may have to loose a lot of things so that I may gain. Here at the moment I have lost friends, respect and money. I have lost more though I know through all of this You are working for my good. That there is a happiness at the end of all of this that will last for all of eternity.
Dear Lord, help me to know what is of You and what is not. Help me to choose my friends wisely. To make decisions and stick to them and when this world feels like it is crashing around me again to hold onto You.
And Lord, as I prepare to party let my focus be on celebrating You and not me.
In Jesus name, Amen
