God has been speaking me through dreams lately. The hardest part is the interpretation as most of the dreams are not usually literal. I bought a Biblical Dream interpretation book from amazon and I have a pdf copy of one of John Paul Jackson's book, from Stream Ministries, which to some extent, helped me with bits of pieces of understanding my dreams.
A couple of nights ago, God clearly showed me that my plan next year to possibly go back to school isn't a good plan. Just last night, I had a dream that I was in a buffet line, putting small amounts of food in my plate. Then a lady,encouraged me to have more food and she showed me shrimps . They were different colored of shrimps overflowing in a bowls. I noticed that the color of the shrimps was red.
I believe this is God's way of telling that I should eat more spiritual food in real life. Additional the red shrimp represents God's salvation (the colour red), perhaps reminding me to put my focus on evangelism (as the shrimp represented an unclean food in the old testament. And there's a verse in the Bible about Peter declining not to eat unclean meat and Jesus telling him to eat. I think that moment parallels that the gospel is to be preached to the Gentile, not just the Jew). So I think the shrimp in my dream means that I should be focused on evangelism - catching shrimps and fishes for the Lord.
I really don't know whats going to happen in my life. I have an appointment with two doctors next week. I don't want to give to much details - but by delaying this particular event (not the doctors appointment, but something else) as much as possible, I am taking the easy way out in not confronting what is to come.
I admit I am addicted to the internet. Im always on my computer resulting in many times of me neglecting time to pray or read the Bible. I have to get back in the rhythm of putting God first in everything and obeying Him in all things, as this is one area of my life I'm not proud of.
I feel sad sometimes, even lonely even. Living alone. Being single once again. Seemingly having lots of friends, but only really just having two that I can rely on in the hard times.
I wonder when I will meet the other person God has for me. Tired of failed past relationships. Three people have come and gone, and the last relationship I had was the one that hurt the most. I thought in the beginning that it was fine. I was prepared to just learn from any relationship. But now I feel that my heart is broken and I have given a piece of it away to someone-someone I trusted initially- but who eventually just trampled it.
I've cried a swimming pool of tears. Never again will I date someone selfish. Nevertheless, I know I was/am at fault too. Neither am I perfect - I tend to be sensitive and I tend to hold on a grudges and can say hurtful (but truthful words) when angry.
I messed up Lord, so many times this past two years. I thought I was doing really well.
A part of me is glad that I'm a Christian, that I have a relationship with Jesus. No matter what hardships I face, in the end there is still hope. I can't help but feel sad though and pained by all the hurts I experienced this past year. I posted shared some of my hurts here in this forum. In my head, I know the christian answer on what to do. But putting this in practice is harder to do, when you have a cloud over your head.
There was one person here whose comment I didn't appreciate. He just sounded so preachy. Like his life is perfect and he knows to a T how to become a christian and whoever is struggling with something just better shape up.
Lack of sympathy and love. People can say the same thing to me and my ex - the thing is I really loved him and helped him so much more than he has loved me or given to me. How hard must it be for Jesus - for the Jews to hate him so much.
I don't know whats going to happen to my life - things are still up in the air. Im just going to see how things unfold. In the meantime, I will try my best to keep my spirits up and pursue the things that are life giving to me.
A couple of nights ago, God clearly showed me that my plan next year to possibly go back to school isn't a good plan. Just last night, I had a dream that I was in a buffet line, putting small amounts of food in my plate. Then a lady,encouraged me to have more food and she showed me shrimps . They were different colored of shrimps overflowing in a bowls. I noticed that the color of the shrimps was red.
I believe this is God's way of telling that I should eat more spiritual food in real life. Additional the red shrimp represents God's salvation (the colour red), perhaps reminding me to put my focus on evangelism (as the shrimp represented an unclean food in the old testament. And there's a verse in the Bible about Peter declining not to eat unclean meat and Jesus telling him to eat. I think that moment parallels that the gospel is to be preached to the Gentile, not just the Jew). So I think the shrimp in my dream means that I should be focused on evangelism - catching shrimps and fishes for the Lord.
I really don't know whats going to happen in my life. I have an appointment with two doctors next week. I don't want to give to much details - but by delaying this particular event (not the doctors appointment, but something else) as much as possible, I am taking the easy way out in not confronting what is to come.
I admit I am addicted to the internet. Im always on my computer resulting in many times of me neglecting time to pray or read the Bible. I have to get back in the rhythm of putting God first in everything and obeying Him in all things, as this is one area of my life I'm not proud of.
I feel sad sometimes, even lonely even. Living alone. Being single once again. Seemingly having lots of friends, but only really just having two that I can rely on in the hard times.
I wonder when I will meet the other person God has for me. Tired of failed past relationships. Three people have come and gone, and the last relationship I had was the one that hurt the most. I thought in the beginning that it was fine. I was prepared to just learn from any relationship. But now I feel that my heart is broken and I have given a piece of it away to someone-someone I trusted initially- but who eventually just trampled it.
I've cried a swimming pool of tears. Never again will I date someone selfish. Nevertheless, I know I was/am at fault too. Neither am I perfect - I tend to be sensitive and I tend to hold on a grudges and can say hurtful (but truthful words) when angry.
I messed up Lord, so many times this past two years. I thought I was doing really well.
A part of me is glad that I'm a Christian, that I have a relationship with Jesus. No matter what hardships I face, in the end there is still hope. I can't help but feel sad though and pained by all the hurts I experienced this past year. I posted shared some of my hurts here in this forum. In my head, I know the christian answer on what to do. But putting this in practice is harder to do, when you have a cloud over your head.
There was one person here whose comment I didn't appreciate. He just sounded so preachy. Like his life is perfect and he knows to a T how to become a christian and whoever is struggling with something just better shape up.
Lack of sympathy and love. People can say the same thing to me and my ex - the thing is I really loved him and helped him so much more than he has loved me or given to me. How hard must it be for Jesus - for the Jews to hate him so much.
I don't know whats going to happen to my life - things are still up in the air. Im just going to see how things unfold. In the meantime, I will try my best to keep my spirits up and pursue the things that are life giving to me.
